The Sacredness of Kink

Yes, you heard me right.  Kink is sacred. Well, let me back up a minute.  For those of you who don't know what "kink" is.  Think "Fifty Shades of Grey", minus the abusive, traumatized sociopath.  Okay- bad example ;).  Think BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism).  Think dom and sub (dominant and submissive).  Got it? Okay, so here's the thing.  Some people, including mental health professionals and even those who say they specialize in sacred sexuality, think kink is abusive.  Let's clear this up.  SOME people, such as the fictional Christian ...

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Life is a Win-Win

I have long suspected that when something is for one person's highest good, it is for the other person's highest good as well.  (Even though, admittedly, it doesn't always seem like that.) Now I am sure. The other day I was doing sacred yoni massage on a woman.  We were really going all out.  I burned some Nag Champa, used my pendulum to clear myself, then we meditated together for a good while.  All of this created sacred space.  Next, I gave her a vulva massage and moved slowly on to the G-spot massage part.  We had decided to call this her "sexual awakening" ...

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Get Your Sexy On

It has come to my attention, over and over again, that we as a species are not having all that much sex.  Worldwide, about 2/3 of us are having sex once a week.  In the U.S., that number is barely over half.  Not to mention that, for most people (asexual and low-sex-drive folks not included), once a week is setting the bar pretty low. How is it that something that is so fundamentally a part of who we are as human beings is so neglected?  Have we forgotten, or never realized, that we ARE sexual beings?  That our life force energy IS our sexual energy?  That if we ...

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A Fucking Good Mood

I am in a really fucking good mood right now.  I mean REALLY fucking good!  The kind of mood where I feel an abundance of energy coursing through my body, I feel love for myself and everyone else, and I am having one creative, fun thought after another.  Yeah, that kind of good mood. I wanted to make a point of announcing my mood in this particular way, as that is how it popped into my mind as I was kind of talking to myself about it.  And then I thought:  "I'm going to write a blog about that."  Not about my mood exactly; about the "fucking" part. So, couple ...

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The Sacred Blow Job

What, you say?!  "Sacred" and "blow job" being used in the same sentence?  Ohhhh, yes!!!!  I made it up.  And it rocks! And today is your lucky day.  I'm going to share how to give a sacred blow job, start to finish.  Ready? 1.  Be present to the Divine Feminine within you.  Whether you are a man or a woman giving a blow job, the Goddess lives in you.  She lives in all of us.  I suggest meditation beforehand in which you (the giver) tune into the feminine energy within- the flowing, receiving, sensual, emotional, circular, creative energy, and your partner ...

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S.E.X.- It’s Not What You Think it Is

maria-20 (2)Many of you who've been around me for years know that Synergistic Energy Exchange is not necessarily synonymous with sex.  What is S.E.X., then?  It's a cooperative exchange of energy between two or more beings. The truth is, S.E.X. is happening all the time even though we don't always think of it or know it when it's occurring.  For example, if you and I are sitting in a room meditating together, our blended energies create an enhanced meditation experience and, technically, we are having S.E.X.- with all our clothes on, and while not even touching!...

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A New Way to Grieve

Christmas was bittersweet for me this year.  Yes, I enjoyed the time I spent with my family, and I was also grieving on that day.  Anyone who has had a major loss (which is practically everyone) knows that the holidays can be a time when they especially miss the person they have lost.  In my case, I have been grieving the loss of my primary partner at a deeper level, now that we are not in any contact whatsoever and there is the distinct possibility we may never be.  It has been kind of like starting over at the first stage of grief.  (Not as intense this time, and still starting over.) So after all the festivities were over, I came back home by myself and went on- what else- Facebook.  I saw an article that a friend had tagged me in about female orgasm, and the more I read, the more sexual feelings I was having.  I decided a bit of self-pleasuring was in order.  When I got started, however, I realized this was going to be a sort of multi-tasking; my grief re-surfaced as well....

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There’s no Place Like Home

I know I haven't mentioned this in a while....grief takes time.  Yes, there are exciting wonderful new things happening in my life (not with a new romantic interest- too soon) and I am still in my grief process. "Bargaining" is the second to last stage in the process.  Don't let that phrase 'second to last' fool you.  It's not a linear process.  Things go 'round and 'round until they're done.  And there's no way of predicting when that will be. So, I was there in the bargaining phase not too long ago.  And at the end of it, I realized there needed to be a period of absolutely no contact between me and my former partner.  I was sad; I had some tears streaming down my face at that moment of realization.  And then I pushed my sadness down.  Rationalized that I'd already felt it to completion, that there couldn't really be much there since I'd already come so far in my grief process.  (That's correct, you are not the only one who lies to yourself occasionally to "protect" yourself from pain.)...

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You Own You

This keeps coming up for me:  couples that try to put restrictions on each other, to control each other.  Probably because I am such a free spirit myself :) it has always irked me when I hear about this.  For example, years ago, when I was still working for a human service agency, I used to have a group of female colleagues I'd go out with sometimes.  One time we though it would be fun to have an adult "pajama party" at one of our houses.  One of the women in our group said she couldn't go because her husband had a 1 a.m. curfew for her.  Whaaaaat?!...

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What TO Do

The bright spot right in the middle of this past winter, for my primary relationship, was the vacation we took to Costa Rica. We had planned it months before, when things were going well for us, not knowing how badly we would need that time together when it came.  We had gotten so distant from each other prior to the vacation.  Ironically, we had moved in together, so we were in closer in physical proximity;  emotionally, though, there was a growing chasm between us as our conflicts built up and were not being resolved. We got away.  To bright, hot, Costa Rica.  Far away from the ongoing construction going on in the house.  Far away from the house where things had started to go awry.   Away from the stress of work, kids, family.  Away from the cold and the snow....

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