The way most of us learned to come is what I would call the masculine way, rather than learning how to come like a woman. In fact, most heterosexual sex, at least in this culture, is done in a very masculine way. The masculine is goal-oriented. It is direct.
It gets right to the point in most cases. There might be a little foreplay- kissing, breasts, pussy, intercourse. Or there might not. It can happen pretty quickly. And there is a lot of tightening up of the body that leads up to orgasm. These are all masculine ways of doing things. I was no different.
I used to do a lot of tightening of my body before and during orgasm. Also, I never thought about it. I never imagined there might be another way. But over recent decades, I have learned how to orgasm the feminine way. Now, variety IS the spice of life, of course. In general, however, I’d say I enjoy having my orgasms the feminine way the most.
And I’ve discovered that anyone, regardless of gender or non-gender, can have a feminine orgasm. Masculine and feminine are energies in the body, ways of doing things, not men and women.
How to Experience a Feminine Orgasm and Come Like a Woman
What comprises a feminine orgasm? Well, let me give you a few tips. If the masculine is tight, the feminine is relaxed. If the masculine is hard, the feminine is soft. Also, if the masculine is fast, the feminine is slow. If the masculine is goal-oriented, the feminine is more in-the-moment.
Speaking of goal-oriented, the best way to have a feminine orgasm is not to TRY to have an orgasm. You can try this with yourself or with a partner, but I recommend trying it on your own first, as most people can be more relaxed this way. However you choose to give yourself pleasure, do it.
It could start out very gradually with some touching or stroking of your own body, limbs, abdomen, hair, any part of your body. It doesn’t have to start with the genitals. Do this when you have plenty of time.
When you get to your genitals, don’t be in a hurry. You can touch yourself lightly at first, and slowly. Go for pleasure, not orgasm per se. Allow the pleasure to build. When it starts feeling better and better, you may have the urge to just go for it—speed things up and “force” yourself to have an orgasm. Resist that urge. Just keep allowing yourself to experience the pleasure, just as it is.
Be in the moment with your body sensations. Choose to keep your body relaxed, even as you get more aroused. You will start to notice that you have WAVES of pleasure. These are not mini orgasms, but they almost feel that way.
At some point, if you are a person that experiences orgasms, you will have one and it will kind of wash over you. It may take longer than usual to get to orgasm, and the orgasm itself may last longer than usual. It is an orgasm you will want to really savor. If you’re capable of having more than one orgasm, and you want to, keep going.
Aftercare & Reflection
When you’re done with your self-pleasuring time, don’t jump up and put your clothes right on. Relax for a bit. Maybe have a mini nap, or a longer one. Then, when you’re ready, get up slowly and with consciousness, and ease into the rest of your day. How was that for you? What did you notice about yourself? Your experience? Is this something you’d like to do again sometime? I’d love to hear from you.
Published on: 12/05/2025