There’s a big misconception about orgasms, especially orgasms in a yoni-owning person’s body, although this can happen with anyone, and it even ties into conversations around Orgasms and Sleep and how our bodies respond to routine and pleasure.
It has to do with those who use a vibrator to come. The myth says that if you use a vibrator to orgasm habitually, you will numb your yoni. The only way to cure yourself of this malady is to throw your vibrator out.
None of this is true. Yes, there are numb genitals in the world, but that condition is a result of trauma and not caused by vibrators.
Many yoni-owning folks resort to using vibrators as they get older and it gets harder to have orgasms. I’ve heard women say a vibrator is the only way they come anymore. Trying to do it any other way is “too much work.”
Well, yes, it can start to feel like work if a lot of energy and time needs to be put in. And anyone who has ever experienced this knows that when that happens, it is no longer fun. Last time I checked, a big part of the benefit of sex and self-pleasuring is fun.
Here’s the myth-busting part: no, there is no such thing as genitals that become numb due to overuse of vibrators. And no, you will not need to throw your vibrator out unless you decide you truly never want to use it again.
While there is no numbness as a result of a vibrator, there’s this important truth: the way that you are used to coming is the way that you are used to coming.
Orgasms and Sleep: How the Body Learns Familiar Patterns
Orgasms are like falling asleep. The way that you fall asleep easily is by using all the cues your body is accustomed to. For example, you probably have a favorite type of pillow, a favorite time, a favorite sleep position, and so on. When all of your sleep cues are in place—and you don’t have a sleep disorder—falling asleep is effortless most of the time.
It is the same with orgasms. Your body is most likely to orgasm when all the accompanying cues are there. It could be your favorite vibrator or other sex toy, the way you normally position your body, or the kind of sexual play leading up to the orgasm.
If your sexual routines, whether partnered or solo, are the same every time, it will likely start to feel like the only way you can come.
Breaking the Pattern: Expanding Pleasure Beyond Habit
I know a woman who has never had an orgasm except when her husband goes down on her. This happens to the point that if she has trouble with insomnia in the middle of the night, she will literally wake her husband up to help her go back to sleep. This must be inconvenient for both of them, especially him.
Here’s the alternative: even if you have a favorite way to have orgasms, sometimes switch your routine up.
At first, it may feel impossible to orgasm any other way. Stick with it. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Do the pleasuring for the sake of pleasure. If you don’t orgasm the first few times, let it be okay. At some point, you will discover that you CAN orgasms in other ways, and – not only that- variety is the spice of life!
Published on: 03/24/2026