ED, or erectile dysfunction, is the most common reason that lingam-owning individuals contact me for help.
First, I want to emphasize this point: almost every person with a lingam will experience erectile dysfunction at some point in their life. Some common causes are fatigue and alcohol.
I am telling you this because I see a lot of shame with the individuals with ED that I work with, so I just want to normalize it and let you know that you are not even close to being alone with this issue.
Whether your ED started because of a very benign issue such as being tired, or not, there is hope!
I do recommend going to a doctor to get yourself checked out. Some find out that in fact their testosterone is low. Low testosterone will cause ED. That is easily remedied with a testosterone supplement. Or, maybe you’re depressed, and that is causing ED. Or maybe you already knew you were having depression, got put on a medication, and one of the side effects is ED. If anything physical is related, it’s wise to find out about it right away and see what can be done.
However, there’s a complicating factor here: in my experience, there’s ALWAYS a psychological issue too. That’s the part of this that people either don’t realize and/or have no idea how to handle.
Here’s how it works: You have one or more episodes of ED. You don’t like it. Very understandable. You have a desire for it never to happen again. You say things in your head like: “I hope that doesn’t happen again” the next time you go to have sex. That’s also very understandable. Human beings seek pleasure and avoid pain. When there’s ED, there’s less pleasure and more pain—the emotional pain of not being able to have or keep an erection as long as they’d like to. And then there’s the diminished pleasure that happens from not having the erection and/or the orgasm. All makes sense, right?
However, those normal thoughts are what can potentially turn a one-time event into a chronic problem, or a technically corrected problem (like a prescription for testosterone) into something that still won’t go away.
Why is this? When you focus on “I hope this doesn’t happen again,” what your subconscious mind really hears is “happen again.” And the power of your thoughts, sure enough, is likely to make it happen again. It feels like you’re focusing on something positive, your hope, but what you’re really focusing on is your fear. And that, most times, will create the thing you’re most afraid of.
So, how to get around that? With techniques to presence yourself. And with a shift of focus. Slowing down, breathing techniques, and choosing to focus on something other than your fear.
Still need help with ED after reading this? I’m here for you. Feel free to schedule a free Connection Call with me HERE to discuss how I can help and see if we’re a good match to work together.
Just like most lingam owners will have ED at some point, most ED can be helped with the right knowledge and techniques.