Has Your Passion Worn Off?

I've heard this not only from clients, but also from a number of therapists and coaches, acknowledging the drop off in passion that is "normal" for couples to experience.   Hell, I've even been known to say it myself! But guess what?  I have some GREAT news about this! It doesn't HAVE to be true.   Think about it.  When you first met each other, everything seemed magical, right?  You probably felt "butterflies in your stomach".  You were under the spell of this new relationship.  And every time you saw each other, ...

Read More


When Is Striving To Do Better Too Much?

So far, it's been really great, and I'm a "good student", meaning I'm following her advice, and it's working to help grow my business! The past couple of weeks, I've been working my "CEO Schedule" harder than ever.  And I'm pretty sure (okay, sure) I got a bit overzealous.   Putting myself and my work out into the Universe in a bigger way than ever has left me feeling raw and vulnerable at times.  If you've ever done this sort of thing, you'll know, it can be scary stuff! And, one morning this week as I was coming back from a bike ride, I ...

Read More


I Predicted A Baby Boom

...that I was wrong about that, at least in the U.S. What has happened is that in "high income" countries like the U.S., requests for birth control have increased, and there is a 300,000 to 500,000 decrease in the number of births predicted over the coming year.   In less wealthy countries, however, women have been cut off from birth control since April of 2020, and apparently in some of those countries, like India and Indonesia, there is an increase in pregnancies. However, none of these statistics actually speak to the issue of whether couples are having ...

Read More


What Are You Putting Up With?

...years ago, and the workshop leader asked the same question I just asked you:  "What are you putting up with?"  Now, she meant it in a general sense, as in 'What are you putting up with in your life?'.  While I think that is a valuable question to ask, I am thinking of it in terms of sex and relationships.Sometimes, we can forget that we have choices in our relationships, or in our dating life, or in our non-existent dating life.  Especially for those of us who grew up in difficult circumstances, we can become used to thinking from a disempowered point of view, as ...

Read More


Do You Know How To Pronounce This Word?

Back to my taking the Human Sexuality course in college....my friend and I kept chuckling to ourselves about how the professor didn't know how to pronounce the word "clitoris".  (He was pronouncing it like this:  "kli tr uhs", with the emphasis on the first syllable.)  Then, one day I thought to myself- well, maybe he really does know what he's talking about, I mean, he IS a professor of Human Sexuality!  So I looked it up and- guess what?  He was right!   I was reminded of this story because this week I was listening to a ...

Read More


Are You in a Sexless Relationship?

Are YOU in a sexless marriage or relationship?  Experts define "sexless" as having sex less than once a month, or no more than 10x a year.  There are a number of common reasons that couples' relationships can become sexless over time.  Some of the most common are lack of communication, one partner being neglectful of the others' needs, or special circumstances such as illness. Regardless of the reason, if you ARE in a sexless relationship, does it bother you?  There are some couples who are perfectly happy being in a sexless relationship.&n...

Read More


Soul S.E.X.

There's no doubt that, as human beings, sex can and often does feel terrific- whether it's masturbation, or sex with partners. In fact, it feels so good that often we tend to think it's enough. What more could we want? Human touch, pleasure, endorphins...what's not to love, right? I agree, and there is so much more if we choose it. If we go deeper, to a realm of spirituality and possibilities. Making love with our souls is magical. What if you're not having a great time with sex? Or, you used to enjoy it, and now you're kind of bored? No matter what your ...

Read More


Even in My Snowsuit

I am forever changed. I just returned from a Tantra retreat in Puerto Rico. I went fully into my Divine Feminine and received.  I opened. For years now I have been what I call a "twitcher".  I don't know how long, exactly; a very long time. When I am turned on- and I don't just mean by S.E.X., I twitch.  It starts somewhere in my core and branches out. My twitching has been happening more and more, progressively, over the years.  From present experiences, from memories, from looking at food, from eating food, from expressing deep emotion, from hearing truth ...

Read More


How Kink Changed my Life

I'm being a little facetious here, but not really.  I mean, yes, adding a dimension of kink into my life several years ago as a regular thing has  most definitely improved the quality of my life.  I've decided it is an essential element for me to be truly happy, like exercise, or good food.  Good kink-yesssss! And then recently, as you may know, I've been riding the waves of some heavy duty grief.  I'm grieving two losses at once. You know how people say the thing:  'how can I help', or whatever?  Well, that's a very nice thing to say, right?  And usually ...

Read More


The Intimacy of Kink

In recent discussions, with both myself ;) and others, I've noticed that there's a general assumption that lovemaking is lovemaking and kink is kink. There's an implication that real intimacy, real connection, only happens with vanilla sex: that "lovemaking" is the only sex that involves love, and it has to be sloooow, with lots of looking into each other's eyes, and whispering, and seriousness about the whole thing.  Anybody know what I'm talking about? And no, I'm going to have to say that I quite disagree with this point of view.  That in fact, some of the most ...

Read More