When Is Striving To Do Better Too Much?

So far, it’s been really great, and I’m a “good student”, meaning I’m following her advice, and it’s working to help grow my business!

The past couple of weeks, I’ve been working my “CEO Schedule” harder than ever.  And I’m pretty sure (okay, sure) I got a bit overzealous.  

Putting myself and my work out into the Universe in a bigger way than ever has left me feeling raw and vulnerable at times.  If you’ve ever done this sort of thing, you’ll know, it can be scary stuff!

And, one morning this week as I was coming back from a bike ride, I decided to do something I had previously been too scared to do, which was to bike beyond the end of the driveway, down the narrow path to get all the way to the back yard where I store my bike.  I was thinking about how maybe being scared and doing things anyway just takes practice, and the more I do scary things, the easier it would get for me.  I was using this biking challenge as an analogy for the work I’m doing on my business.  

I quickly realized this was flawed thinking.  There was a REASON I was too scared to bike in this narrow space before- because it was super HARD!  I leaned too hard to the left, scraped my leg on the newly trimmed (read sharp) bushes, and ended up with blood dripping down my leg before I got to the back yard.  Experiment fail.

And then I realized my accident was the REAL analogy.  If I go too hard on the masculine side of being in the world, it’s going to hurt.  Being goal-oriented is a masculine trait.  It’s good for me and all of us to be in our masculine essence sometimes.  It’s ALSO good to have balance.  

I’d been pushing myself too hard and it was showing. I took the hint to chill the fuck out and I started feeling much better almost immediately.   

How does all the relate to RELATIONSHIPS and SEX?  Haha, I always find a way to bring it back to that.  

Have you ever seen the bell curve about performance evaluation?  Basically, if I am going to take a test in school and I have either very little or very high anxiety about it, I likely won’t do well.  However, if I have SOME level of anxiety about it, I will end up in the middle of the bell curve, where the highest test scorers are.  Does that make sense?

Where are you right now in terms of putting in effort to make your relationship be the way you’d like it to be?  Are you complacent?  TOO comfortable?  Are you anxious and “trying too hard”?  Or are you somewhere in the middle, where you care about how the relationship is going, but not to the point of self-sabotage?

My observation is that during Covid, more people are leaning toward the complacent, taking their relationship for granted side.  If that describes you, what one small step might you take to improve your relationship today?  It could be something as small as giving your partner an appreciation, such as:  “I appreciate the way you___________.”  Or, “I appreciate your touch, and particularly___________________.”  Try this and let me know how it goes.  


GUESS WHAT?  I have a  Facebook group, The Turned on Woman.  It is for women aged 40+ who have lost their joie de vivre, so to speak, and want to feel turned on again.  I provide lots of free content there as well as opportunities for discussion in a safe, private space.  If you fit this category, please ask to join HERE.

AND REMEMBER, If you feel less CONNECTED than you’d like with yourself, the Divine, or your Beloved, and desire to live a life of connection on all 3 levels beyond what’s been possible for you before, I invite you to sign up for a free CONNECTION CALL with me.  During this call, we will talk about your current challenge- where you are and where you want to be-, lay out a plan to get you there, and then we’ll discuss whether we’re a good fit to work together.  Even if we decide no, I will give you a referral or tool to point you in the direction of your own personal “brand new day.”  Schedule a free call HERE.

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