Has Your Passion Worn Off?

I’ve heard this not only from clients, but also from a number of therapists and coaches, acknowledging the drop off in passion that is “normal” for couples to experience.  

Hell, I’ve even been known to say it myself!

But guess what?  I have some GREAT news about this!

It doesn’t HAVE to be true.  

Think about it.  When you first met each other, everything seemed magical, right?  You probably felt “butterflies in your stomach”.  You were under the spell of this new relationship.  And every time you saw each other, you couldn’t wait to get to the sex part, am I right?  

I’m here to dispel the myth that you’ve already felt that and it’s over.  

I’d always suspected that there was more to the story, and maybe you have too.  You know those couples that seem ridiculously happy and in love, even 10, 20, or 30 years later?  How do you explain that?

I KNEW that feeling could go on forever, and recently I learned a more scientific explanation for why that is true.  I was listening to a podcast by Kim Anami, and Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. was the guest speaker.  For those of you who don’t know him, he is an American biologist whom I have known to have much to say on the topic of quantum physics.    

Here’s the basic gist of what I got out of his contribution:  the reason why people have the most amazing experiences when they are first in relationship is because they are being IN THE MOMENT.  And the thing that drops out quite naturally as we get more and more familiar with a partner is exactly that, BEING in the moment.

I can vouch for the existence of being incredibly passionate with a partner I’ve been with for years.  It is a regular part of my primary relationship. 

And, about a year or two ago, I had an experience that was “incredibly passionate” on steroids.  We had a rough patch and frankly I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it.  For a number of days, there was absolutely no physical touch between us.  (For those that know me, that’s NOT usual for me!)

And then one day we came to some sort of truce, or place where we could explore with more possibilities that we had originally been seeing.  We got in bed naked and simply held each other for quite a while.  Honestly, it was like discovering each other for the first time.  What was present?  WE were.  This wasn’t just another day in a long series of doing that.  It was happening NOW.  There was shaking and heavy breathing and goose bumps.  We didn’t “make love” in the traditional way, but we DID make love.  The emotions of love and joy running through my body were INTENSE.  

What’s my point?  Being as PRESENT and GRATEFUL for the connection with each other was what made that possible.  It wasn’t because it was our FIRST TIME doing this together, not by a long shot.  

If this is possible for me, it is possible for YOU.  


AAAAAND, GUESS WHAT?  I have a Facebook group, The Turned on Woman.  It is for women aged 40+ who have lost their joie de vivre, so to speak, and want to feel turned on again.  I provide lots of free content there as well as opportunities for discussion in a safe, private space.  If you fit this category, please ask to join HERE.

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