What’s Best for Me

Last winter, a good friend’s grandmother died. I knew she was devastated. This woman had been more like her “mother” than her actual mother, and she was the Matriarch of the family. (For the sake of privacy, I will call my friend “Susan” and her grandmother “Lily”.)

I wasn’t well at the time. I was sick with chronic (non-contagious) illness, and frankly it was a stretch for me to go to the wake, in a different part of the state. Yet, there was an emotional pull to attend it. I really wanted to be there to help support Susan.

At the Hendricks Institute, where I became a Life Coach, the message I heard was ‘do what you want’, ‘do what’s best for you‘, that kind of thing. I’ve been a big advocate of choosing self love, which is not the same as being selfish. Following that idea, it was pretty simple. I wouldn’t go because it would be bad for my health; a strain on my system.

I’ve also learned through experience that what best for one person is always what’s best for the other in a situation like this. That part didn’t make sense. How could my not going to the wake be best for Susan? This was the part that I’d been confused about many times before, as well.

My partner encouraged me to go even though I didn’t feel well. He said that what was best for me was to go. I decided to take a leap and try it his way. I went.

It was a typical wake. The body, in a casket, was up front to be viewed and there was a bench to kneel on to pray for the deceased. Before I approached my friend, I went to the bench and knelt. At that moment, I remembered that I’d read that many people’s souls attend their own funerals, since the soul does not immediately go to another dimension. I tuned in and had a hit that Lily’s soul was right there. I allowed myself to actually feel her energy. It was beautiful! And, although I had never met her in life, I could easily feel how she was a woman that would be very much missed.

I moved on and sought out my friend. We embraced and then sat in some of the seats near the front of the Funeral Home, gazing at her grandmother from there. I told Susan of my experience with Lily’s spirit, and she seemed relieved and happy to hear it. I taught her how it was possible for her to feel it too. We decided to go up front again and kneel together in front of Lily’s body. I again felt the loving energy of Lily’s soul. And my friend felt it too!

Driving home, I was so happy to have made a difference in Susan’s experience that evening. I was truly energized by it. I had been so sick for so long that I’d barely gotten out for months. Most sick people don’t feel a lot of happiness normally, and I was no exception. Getting out helped. It helped me emotionally. I had a glow of having created magic, and I felt happy in a way I hadn’t in quite some time. What a gift.

I was excited to get home and tell my Beloved about my experience. I learned something important that night. Sometimes, ‘what’s best for me’ may not be my first impulse. That alone doesn’t mean it’s not best for me.

Sometimes what’s best for me is to listen to the voice inside that wants to do something for another, a loved one in this case. And even if I had to push myself out the door (like I do sometimes to exercise), it most definitely was best for me. And I am happy to say it was best for Susan, too.

1 Reply to "What's Best for Me"

  • Tony Bogardus
    August 6, 2019 (3:28 am)

    Yes….The old adage about “always go with your intial gut instinct”? NOPE! The best decision is one that is reached after examining the situation from all angles, and maybe re-thinking your position once or twice (or four times). Trusting your gut might sound like the cool way to make decisions, but I prefer a reasoned approach. When I HAVE gone strictly by instinct, my results have been pretty mixed.

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