I have been reading the book Home with God by Neale Donald Walsch.  (Sorry,  Neale, the last time I wrote about you I totally hacked your name, but I figure a man like you will probably forgive.)  It’s the last in his Conversations with God series, in which he literally prints word for word his conversations with Source.

So I got to the part about how we ourselves create everything in our lives.  I know this sounds hard to believe for some. There is really no man with a long white beard in the sky pulling our puppet strings.  We have free will. We can co-create with non-physical, but we are the ones who choose.  I don’t mean consciously, in most cases, but we do choose it all.

The real question at some point became for me, not how can God allow all these “bad” things to go on in the world, how, or why, do we choose for all these “bad things” to occur? And in the book, God started talking about how we even choose the times and places and circumstances of our deaths.  And that all the deaths we even know about, we have co-created those too, for our highest good.  This of course all being my interpretation of what Neale said that God said in the book- which I highly recommend you read and see for yourself.

Okay, here’s a really radical idea.  So even when people have what many would call tragic circumstances in their lives, like having a stillborn baby, it was chosen.  It was chosen by the parents, and it was chosen by the soul of the baby that died.  For some reason that we may not ever know or understand until we die and see every event of our lives clearly for what it was, for its higher purpose.

I started thinking about my cousin, whose wife gave birth to a stillborn baby, and how the soul of that baby had acted as an angel, bestowing a gift to that couple, that they didn’t even consciously know they wanted.  And I wonder how all three of their souls have grown from that experience.  Just thinking about that makes me cry all over again.

I cried over the beauty  of it all.   I cried over the incredible poignancy of life.  I cried over the bitterness and the joy, all wrapped into one.  And in my tears there was both pain and ecstasy.

We all have to figure these big questions out for ourselves.  This is how I’m coming to terms with Life these days.  How about you?