The Body Doesn’t Lie

Last week I revealed how I am having a whirlwind romance- with myself.  What I didn’t tell you is that just before deciding that, I went on a date with a guy from the dating site.  I know I had said weeks ago that I was done with that; it literally took a month for this guy and I to coordinate our schedules, so I figured: “Why not?  I’ll go on one more date before deleting my account.”

So take note:  I met this guy on the same dating site that I met the other guys- you  know, the ones that didn’t impress me, to say the least.  And then just when I thought I wouldn’t meet any quality people on there, my date with “Joe” comes up.  Much to my surprise, we hit it off almost immediately.  He was cute, fun, funny, honest, chivalrous, happy, poly.  All the things.  And I had a lot of fun with him that night.  We both shared a lot about ourselves, and we laughed a lot.  Always a good sign.

Two nights in a row, two dates.  First night with myself.  Second night with Joe.

On the way home I was feeling light and happy, peaceful.  Went home, still feeling good, went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up feeling totally like crap, physically and emotionally.  I was depressed and exhausted.  Even though I could see no reason for either.  Got myself up and went for a run.  That almost always works to lift my mood.  Didn’t work this time, though.

During the run it occurred to me that perhaps the reason I’d had such a negative shift was that I’d already been planning in my head that I was going to continue to see Joe.  I also noticed that every time I was contemplating that, I’d see a heart- in a leaf, a rock, a piece of gum stuck on the sidewalk.  You know, the usual places. 😉

Tricky thing is, the message of the hearts (I knew it was not a coincidence) could be taken one of two ways:  a.  Yes, date Joe.  Go for it. b.  Date yourself, only.  It is not the right timing for you to date Joe, or anyone else.

So I tuned in a little more deeply.  I have this method that I use when I need to make a decision.  I think of choice “a” and notice how I feel in my body.  Then I think of choice “b” and do the same thing.  The basic thing to discern is whether I feel more contracted or more expanded with each choice.  That experiment resulted in the “date yourself” option being the right one for me.

I was in resistance to knowing this truth, so I allowed myself to not be sure (just delaying the inevitable, yet part of my process) and decided to sleep on it.  The next day, though, things hadn’t changed, as much as I’d wanted them to, and I knew I had to trust myself, my body’s knowing.

So I let Joe know via text (he knew I was on the fence, not about him in particular, just about whether this was right for me).

And guess what?  The yucky feelings in my body went away.  The rest of my week picked up, physically and emotionally, quite a bit.  That gave me even more confirmation that although I didn’t love my choice exactly, it was the right one for me at this time.

Which led me to remembering why I often say “the body doesn’t lie” to my clients.  It’s true.