I notice I get a little prickly when people seem to be objectifying me, especially as it relates to my business. Okay, yes, the name of my business is Synergistic Energy Exchange (S.E.X.), and I happen to be someone whom a lot of people find sexy and pretty. And- this part I can say subjectively- I have a lot of sexual energy, and I exude it. Yup, it’s all true. AND, it is not my intention nor my aim in life to either entertain you with my stories about S.E.X. nor provide for you material for your “spank bank.”
I am not unconscious enough to believe that I am a victim here. I understand that there is a part of me that MUST not think I have anything else to offer other than the above, since I still sometimes attract men who appear to think it is okay for them to treat me that way. So perhaps I am saying all of this as much to convince myself as to convince you.
And, the larger part of me that knows I am so much more than my body, or my ability to give pleasure, or my ability to help people get their rocks off. That part, like for the rest of us, is my inner being- soul, high self, true self- it can be called by many names.
Even when I was a stripper, I did not consider it my purpose to be sexy for others, really. It was a means to an end, which at first was simply to make money to pay for life coaching school.
Then quickly my purpose also became to have fun, which I almost always did on my shifts.
And ultimately, what I understood my higher purpose to be, was to be a sexual healer while I was at the strip club. It may have looked like my purpose was to entertain you or excite you or provide fantasies for you, and that may have been YOUR purpose in visiting me there. That’s your business, and I never had a problem with that. My TRUE purpose, same as it is today, was to help people understand that GOD/DESS IS PRO-SEX. Funny how life is. And I thought I was just there for the money! 😉
Truth is, I was doing my sacred work when I was a stripper. And I’m not the only one. And there are “prostitutes” who are doing the same thing.
I am having a photo shoot in the spring again. Last year, my shoot was in the dead of winter, in January. And one of my then “frequent flyers” on Facebook said something that basically can be paraphrased as ‘I really like it better when your photos show more skin’. Yeah, well, that is not my concern.
The argument might be made: If I can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. And frankly, NO, that is not an acceptable answer to me. I am not like the rape victim that “asked for it.” I refuse to stop being who I am by wearing turtlenecks and business suits in my photos. That would be defeating the purpose of my entire message: that it’s okay for us all to be ourselves, that we are all sexual beings, and that doesn’t make us bad or wrong or dirty.
Or perhaps, this is more about my not having perfectly strong boundaries yet. I am a LOT better with my boundaries now than I used to be, and I’m not perfect at it. Maybe that’s the reason why I still sometimes attract men who are crude and almost hostile in their comments.
I’m also not saying I don’t understand the urge to say some really crude things to men that I find attractive. Yet, that would be just me doing the same thing to them, so I don’t. It’s disrespectful.
I don’t understand all of it, and I do know this much: this is my body and my person, and I choose to put up a clear boundary that says: Feel however you want, think whatever you want, hell- jerk off to my pics if you want. None of that is any of my business.
My business is this: I choose to treat myself with love and respect, to value the work that I am here to do in the world, and to keep myself safe by setting clear boundaries. Nothing less is acceptable.