A New Way to Grieve

Christmas was bittersweet for me this year.  Yes, I enjoyed the time I spent with my family, and I was also grieving on that day.  Anyone who has had a major loss (which is practically everyone) knows that the holidays can be a time when they especially miss the person they have lost.  In my case, I have been grieving the loss of my primary partner at a deeper level, now that we are not in any contact whatsoever and there is the distinct possibility we may never be.  It has been kind of like starting over at the first stage of grief.  (Not as intense this time, and still starting over.)

So after all the festivities were over, I came back home by myself and went on- what else- Facebook.  I saw an article that a friend had tagged me in about female orgasm, and the more I read, the more sexual feelings I was having.  I decided a bit of self-pleasuring was in order.  When I got started, however, I realized this was going to be a sort of multi-tasking; my grief re-surfaced as well.

Weeks prior I had gotten a “hit” about using G-spot massage to release grief.  I had done it before, but not in years.  And it popped back into my head just as I realized my grief was coming back up to be released.  So I went for it.  At first, there was a surge of tears and sadness.  Little known fact:  the G-spot is kind of like the knot on a balloon.  If it is stimulated, what’s there to be released starts to come to the surface.  It could be grief, or anger, or any feeling, really.  As women, we hold it in our cervix, but the G-spot is kind of like the release valve.  (By the way, if your cervix tends to be very sensitive and painful when touched, that may mean that you are holding some emotions there that are calling to be released.)  As I went on, the grief seemed to have dispersed, and now I was just continuing for the sake of not wanting to stop the pleasure….and then a whole new wave of grief came over me.  I continued to pleasure myself and release the emotional pain.  It is not necessary to have any orgasms in this process, and it does help to get more out.  Plus, it feels good obviously, so why not, if you can? Finally, the waves of grief seemed to be subsiding (this was no fast process, it took about and hour) and I had felt about as much ecstasy as I can stand at one time.  I was exhausted, calm, peaceful.

This is something you can experiment with yourself if you are a woman who may have (and who doesn’t?) some unresolved feelings to be released.  If you don’t know where  your g-spot is, trust me it is really easy to find.  Refer to two of my blogs on the topic, “Squirting 101” and “Squirting 102” for more information.

If you’re a guy, I don’t know what to tell you.  Look it up?  I’m not an expert on prostate massage- yet.  Although I do understand that the male prostate can be stimulated for the same purposes- both pleasure and emotional release.

It’s not that I’m saying this is now the best, only way to release feelings.  What I am saying is this:  it’s simply a different way to release feelings, it’s a choice that we can make if we want to, sometimes.  And hey, I’ll tell you what, given the choice on Christmas of doing it the way I did or grieving the old-fashioned way…I think I chose the perfect way for myself that night.  I did a huge energetic, emotional release and I got to feel amazing, even in the midst of deep emotional pain.  Pretty good deal!  Damn, God/Goddess is so smart!


4 Replies to "A New Way to Grieve"

  • Jeff
    December 30, 2014 (12:51 am)

    ive been read some on prostate massage & stimulation. As an aging male it occurred to me that this might actually be a good thing (and supposedly feels awesome too). I’m not 100% sure about it and haven’t tried it…yet. I’d be interested in knowing what you find.

    I’m sorry to hear about your primary partner. But as I too am having relationship problems (likely leading to separation) I am trying to be calm.

    “Relax, nothing is in control”
    – Facebook Buddha heart

    • Maria Merloni
      December 31, 2014 (1:24 am)

      Hi Jeff,

      Thanks for your comments. I am not really planning to start doing prostate massage yet. I have so much work to do with the women first! I do know that it is a real thing in the sense that it is practiced, and yes some men love the feeling of it and some have orgasms from it. I’m sorry to hear about your relationship problems as well. I know that pain. And also in a way (not in an insensitive way) I am not sorry about mine or yours or anyone’s. I believe it is all meant to be, and is one of the ways we grow and learn as humans.

      Best to you,

      Maria

  • Tony Bogardus
    March 19, 2015 (9:16 pm)

    Best grief-relief EVER! Glad you were able to work through a painful day in such a creative and satisfying way.

    I have had some experiences with prostate massage in the past, and found it very enjoyable, although I can’t say I felt any level of emotional release…The orgasm is quite intense, and the only downside was getting past the social programming about butt-play – especially MALE butt-play. After my own experiences, I watched some porn clips of men receiving prostate massages – sometimes with simultaneous manual stimulation, sometimes not – and I find most of the clips to be highly erotic to watch. When and if you get to an investigation of these techniques, I’d love to hear your thoughts….In the meantime, I hope other women can benefit from your unique approach to grieving!

  • Maria Merloni
    March 20, 2015 (12:14 am)

    Male butt-play, the next frontier, lol! And yes, I am actually right now in the process of helping another woman to release some emotional blocks through g-spot massage. (Btw, I don’t think that if you had no awareness of emotional release that it means it wasn’t happening. I saw a woman release some major past life trauma complete with squirting, and she had no idea it was happening for her. This stuff is like the healing that doesn’t always have to involve emotional pain.)