The Sacred Blow Job
What, you say?! "Sacred" and "blow job" being used in the same sentence? Ohhhh, yes!!!! I made it up. And it rocks!
And today is your lucky day. I'm going to share how to give a sacred blow job, start to finish. Ready?
1. Be present to the Divine Feminine within you. Whether you are a man or a woman giving a blow job, the Goddess lives in you. She lives in all of us. I suggest meditation beforehand in which you (the giver) tune into the feminine energy within- the flowing, receiving, sensual, emotional, circular, creative energy, and your partner ...
S.E.X.- It’s Not What You Think it Is
Many of you who've been around me for years know that Synergistic Energy Exchange is not necessarily synonymous with sex. What is S.E.X., then? It's a cooperative exchange of energy between two or more beings. The truth is, S.E.X. is happening all the time even though we don't always think of it or know it when it's occurring. For example, if you and I are sitting in a room meditating together, our blended energies create an enhanced meditation experience and, technically, we are having S.E.X.- with all our clothes on, and while not even touching!...
A New Way to Grieve
Christmas was bittersweet for me this year. Yes, I enjoyed the time I spent with my family, and I was also grieving on that day. Anyone who has had a major loss (which is practically everyone) knows that the holidays can be a time when they especially miss the person they have lost. In my case, I have been grieving the loss of my primary partner at a deeper level, now that we are not in any contact whatsoever and there is the distinct possibility we may never be. It has been kind of like starting over at the first stage of grief. (Not as intense this time, and still starting over.)
So after all the festivities were over, I came back home by myself and went on- what else- Facebook. I saw an article that a friend had tagged me in about female orgasm, and the more I read, the more sexual feelings I was having. I decided a bit of self-pleasuring was in order. When I got started, however, I realized this was going to be a sort of multi-tasking; my grief re-surfaced as well....
There’s no Place Like Home
I know I haven't mentioned this in a while....grief takes time. Yes, there are exciting wonderful new things happening in my life (not with a new romantic interest- too soon) and I am still in my grief process.
"Bargaining" is the second to last stage in the process. Don't let that phrase 'second to last' fool you. It's not a linear process. Things go 'round and 'round until they're done. And there's no way of predicting when that will be.
So, I was there in the bargaining phase not too long ago. And at the end of it, I realized there needed to be a period of absolutely no contact between me and my former partner. I was sad; I had some tears streaming down my face at that moment of realization. And then I pushed my sadness down. Rationalized that I'd already felt it to completion, that there couldn't really be much there since I'd already come so far in my grief process. (That's correct, you are not the only one who lies to yourself occasionally to "protect" yourself from pain.)...
You Own You
This keeps coming up for me: couples that try to put restrictions on each other, to control each other. Probably because I am such a free spirit myself :) it has always irked me when I hear about this. For example, years ago, when I was still working for a human service agency, I used to have a group of female colleagues I'd go out with sometimes. One time we though it would be fun to have an adult "pajama party" at one of our houses. One of the women in our group said she couldn't go because her husband had a 1 a.m. curfew for her. Whaaaaat?!...
What TO Do
The bright spot right in the middle of this past winter, for my primary relationship, was the vacation we took to Costa Rica. We had planned it months before, when things were going well for us, not knowing how badly we would need that time together when it came. We had gotten so distant from each other prior to the vacation. Ironically, we had moved in together, so we were in closer in physical proximity; emotionally, though, there was a growing chasm between us as our conflicts built up and were not being resolved.
We got away. To bright, hot, Costa Rica. Far away from the ongoing construction going on in the house. Far away from the house where things had started to go awry. Away from the stress of work, kids, family. Away from the cold and the snow....
What Not to Do
The next several months of my journey with my primary partner are kind of a blur. I don't even know where to begin. It was not a pleasant time, in my memory, and I'd be willing to bet he feels the same way. Of course, I'm not saying it was all bad. We still had moments of great connection and joy; however, those were more interspersed with the dominant feelings of angst of one type or another. Prior to that, in our relationship, the balance was the opposite: it was mostly fun, joy, and closeness interspersed with a sprinkling of angst.
So, here's a good description of what not to do when moving in together:...
“Kissing Break!”
We interrupt this program to have a kissing break....
More accurately, I interrupt these blogs about the history of my primary relationship to tell you about what we call kissing breaks.
Similar to naked cuddling, this is something I suggest that all couples do. Now, obviously (hopefully), you are already kissing daily, or as often as you see each other. And let me be clear- I do not mean those kisses on the forehead or pecks on the cheeks or lips. I mean those deep, full-presence, kisses that leave you woozy. ...
“Poly” and “Slutty” Are Not Synonyms
I found myself feeling outraged recently when I realized one of the Meetup groups I was in attracted a man who assumed that, just because the group mostly focuses on polyamory, members of the group are automatically down with the idea of a sexual free-for-all. Let me be a little more specific. This guy has never actually shown up at the group. He is not, in fact, polyamorous. He "joined" the group online and then proceeded to ask me out on a date. That is fine. I invited him to actually show up at one of the meetings, so I could see if I may be interested in going on a date with him. He did not. A couple months later, he took it upon himself to post some extremely inappropriate things on the group page. The essence of it was: We are all adults here, so let's not pretend. This is what I like, sexually (very crudely stated). Here is my phone number....
I’m All Out Now
As some of you know, I was recently in a production called Opening Pandora's Box: Stories of Truth and Hope. I got on stage and told my "story", as did six other courageous women. Although I have done television shows, radio, nude modeling and even worked as an exotic dancer for eight years, I never really had much "stage fright"....