I’ve been re-learning some things about my body. I suppose I knew these things once upon a time when I was too young to have had any negative thoughts about my body, when I was too young to have been exposed to the tremendous amount of bad “advice” that our society provides us about our bodies.
I was always a thin person. In fact, when I was a kid, I had a pair of yellow and blue flowered shorts that I loved. Those shorts fit me for years of summers. It seemed like I could wear them forever because I was what people called “skinny”. I didn’t like that word. It felt like an insult to me.
One of the things I realized recently is that it’s normal for adult bodies to change over the decades of a lifetime, and it’s not something we usually have any control over. Like, when I got pregnant and had a baby, my body changed. And it changed when I got Lyme Disease and couldn’t exercise for years. And…you get the point.
The thing is, one of the ways my body changed over the years is that it got bigger and heavier. I was no longer that “skinny” person. And even though I had been waxing poetic about body self love for decades, I had parts of myself that weren’t loving my own body. I tortured myself with diets that didn’t work, or worked only temporarily. And I got so fed up with the merry-go-round in my head that I finally did something about it.
I started working with a “body peace” coach a few months ago, and here are the very valuable things I’ve learned to now do:
- Eat when I’m hungry. I know it sounds obvious, but due to our societal messages, I wasn’t always doing that. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Merlonis don’t miss meals! Yet it was those between meal times that I was hungry and ignoring it, or telling myself I was “too fat” anyway and it would do me some good to wait until the next meal.
- Stop eating when I’m full. No kidding. I needed someone to tell me that. It was like a foreign concept. No one had ever told me, and I frequently ate past the point of fullness for the pleasure of it. Now I eat without distractions and can tell when I reach that point of satiety. Do I ever go beyond that? Yes, but not often, and I’ll tell you why: it makes me feel tired and sometimes causes belly discomfort.
- Avoid foods that are either wrong for my body, or wrong at any particular moment for my body. I use muscle testing, which can be easily taught and used, to determine what foods are good for my body at a particular time. Does this mean I never have dessert? Hell no. I just make sure to save room for it first.
That’s it. It’s that simple.
Have you figured out what’s better than loving your body? RESPECTING YOUR BODY.
That’s what I’ve arrived at. I don’t expect my body to be different than it is anymore. I accept that my body is bigger and different than it used to be. I’ve stopped arguing with it.
I appreciate my body—not for being some kind of perfect specimen of a female body—but for all the things it allows me to do and all the things it does for me. It digests all the delicious food I give to it. It enables me to walk and even run. I can swim. I can experience sexual pleasure. I can hear and enjoy music. I can use my eyes to read books. There are soooo many reasons for me to respect and appreciate my body.
How is this relevant to my work? My work is about self love. And loving relationships. And better sex. And connection with the Divine. Your body is not “you”, but it is the vehicle you have chosen to be in for this earthly journey. Respecting your body enhances all of these areas of your life.