S.E.X. is Where It’s At

The other night I got to put into practice all my recent suggestions about how to proceed when you have an “issue” you need to talk to your partner about.  I did NOT start out by saying we needed to talk.  I simply said:  “After dinner, I’d like to talk to you about how we can…”  My partner immediately thought it was “something bad”.  What is something bad?  Breaking up with someone is all I can think of.  And it was certainly not that!  In any case, my newest suggestion is to tack on:  “it’s nothing bad” at the end of the sentence.

Then I expressed my thoughts and feelings.  I simply said how I felt- scared, sad, angry- without blaming; taking responsibility for my feelings.  And I spoke my thoughts out loud as I went.  Yes, right down to the nitty gritty truth.  My insecurities reared their ugly, beautiful heads, and I just kept speaking my truth.  And I asked for what I wanted.  It was not easy.  It was scary for me, as it always is.  And, I did it.  And, he held space for me beautifully and really heard what I had to say.  And I allowed him to express his own thoughts and feelings.  It took a little while- half hour, maybe.  At the end, I said “I feel happy”, and he asked: “was that all it took?”, which was very generous of him, really, because some guys would not have had the capacity to ride that wave with me.

The most important part of this story is not really what I did, or didn’t do.  I simply followed my own advice, which you’ve already heard.

Transparency really IS sexy, and what happened next proves it.  We made a fire (well, okay, mostly he did :)), we lay down in front of it, and we just shared space, barely talking, for a good hour or so.  We touched each other, but is was not sexual touch per se.  We had our clothes on.  And what we created was major Synergistic Energy Exchange.  It was like we were totally making love to each other with all our clothes on.  And it was all because we had just had some big transparency with each other.

Along with this S.E.X. that I just described came a lot of wetness.  S.E.X., with or without clothes, makes me wet.  Connection, deep connection, turns me on.  And isn’t that what we all really want anyway?  Connection with all beings, even with all things?  In any and all kinds of relationships?

As we were lying there in front of the fire, I kept having these huge waves of joy.  To the point where a tear actually trickled out of the corner of my eye.  And he asked me why I was smiling.  And I said I’d had a glimpse of just how beautiful things were going to get between us…