Polyamory Is Like Ice Cream

I mean, if you’re the kind of person like I am, who loooooves ice cream, you may find it’s kind of hard to pick a flavor, right?

I’m a person that loves variety.  I like to order different things on a menu, even if I’ve had certain dishes at a particular restaurant and loved them.  I like to dress in one style one day and a totally different style the next.  

And when it comes to ice cream, since it is my absolute favorite dessert on the planet, it can be hard for me to pick just one flavor for a cone.  Back in my younger days, when I could afford to eat as much ice cream as I wanted and still be healthy, I would be that person.  The one that would walk away from the ice cream parlor window with a triple decker ice cream cone that had three different flavors.  Yes, people still in the line would gawk and stare.  I didn’t care.  

I was in the bathroom the other day (one of my best thinking rooms), and I realized that polyamory is just like that!  

For those who don’t know- poly, meaning many, and amor, meaning love, make up the word “polyamory” which translates to “many loves”.  It is a form of ethical non-monogamy in which people choose to love more that one person, and may or may not have a sexual relationship with more than one person.  And none of it is a secret, or cheating, or any of the things we typically think of when we imagine having more than one romantic or sexual partner.

For example, I am bi-sexual, or more accurately pan-sexual, which means that my attraction to others is based on our energetic connection and not necessarily gender- or non-gender, for that matter.  I am also about to get married to a male-identified partner.  Does this mean that I will never have a sexual or romantic relationship with a woman?  No it does not.  I don’t have to limit myself to a man OR a woman, OR a transgender person OR whatever. 

Similarly, I don’t have to limit myself to coconut ice cream OR banana ice cream.  I love them both.  So why do I need to choose?  I can have both.  

Now I do understand that it is not as simple to be in a polyamorous or non-monogamous relationship as it is to order a double or triple decker ice cream cone.  Yet, the concept is the same.  It’s about understanding that love is not limited.  

You yourself probably love more than one person in the world.  Am I right?  If we are fortunate, we all do.  Non-monogamy or polyamory (a form of non-monogamy) is just taking that ability to love more than one person and taking it a step further, into the realms of romantic and/or sexual love.  

For those who’ve had a hard time understanding the less usual relationship choices, this analogy is a way to think about that may make more sense.  And for those who already understood these lifestyle choices and may be also living them, it may be a way to help others that don’t live your lifestyle to understand. 

In any case, it’s just fun to talk about ice cream, right?