My Dating Experiment

So yesterday I broke one of my own “rules”; not that I really have rules.  😉

I have been telling my clients for years that they do not need to join dating sites in order to find a partner.  All they have to do is get out of the house once in a while.  If their soul and their future partner’s soul planned to meet, it will happen.  Online dating not needed.

And then I was essentially alone, for like eight months.  And I WAS getting out of the house.  And then I got sick of not having a regular partner to do and share things with.  And I don’t mean just friends.  Or friends that I occasionally have sex with.  (Not that they’re not both lovely.)

It’s not really about sex. I can have sex any day of the week- every day if I want.  And that wouldn’t necessarily bring me what I desire.   It’s about having a person (or two, or three) as a polyamorous partner.  Maybe even (gasp!) a primary partner again.

You know where I’m going with this, right?  I joined a dating site.  One that I’d heard about and thought possibly might be a place I could meet someone compatible.

And now I’m wondering, is it that I don’t BELIEVE what I’ve been telling others for so long?  And I’m not sure I know the answer to that.  I think I still do.

AND, I also wonder sometimes where the line is.  Not just with manifesting a partner.  With manifesting anything.  Where is the line between allowing and forcing?  Between taking inspired action and attempting to will something into being?  I know from experience, and I’ll be you do too, that the latter doesn’t work.  I know another thing I’ve said to clients repeatedly is:  “When have you ever met someone when you were TRYING to?”  I never have.

Perhaps, as with most other things in life, the “answer” is not an either/or, it’s a both/and.

Perhaps, in this case, it’s not that I EITHER  join a dating site and hunt down a partner, OR I keep being single for as long as it takes, allowing the event to happen organically.

Maybe, I will set my intention:  to be in a conscious, loving relationship with a man who meets me in all the most important ways, AND be open to the possibility of that happening in a number of ways.  Perhaps when I’m out at a tantra event, or a party that I’d be going to anyway.  Or at the grocery store.  Or in some way I can’t even imagine right now.  OR on a dating site.

I also know that when I get too focused on something, when it’s all I am thinking about, and I am too attached to the outcome-I am efforting too much- it never works.  I also know that when I set an intention and then hold it loosely, allowing for what wants to happen while at the same time taking inspired action, I usually get what I want.

And it felt like inspired action yesterday.  I didn’t have to force myself to do it.  I didn’t decide to do it ahead of time, talk it over with friends, or plan when I was going to do it.  I had an impulse to post about the possibility of doing it in one of my poly Facebook groups, and then I immediately went to the site and made a profile.

Haven’t been on there much yet.  So far there seem to be a lot of monogamous, Catholic guys hitting me up. Maybe it’s just that there are so many out there!  I’m sure you won’t be surprised…AND I get a big NO to that!

And, I’ll keep you posted.  Should be interesting.  When is my life ever NOT?


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