Meetup Is Not A Dating Site

As you probably know, most of my newsletters are all warm and sunshine-y.  This one – not so much.

I want to be kind, I always want to be kind.  AND, I want to publicly say that in my experience it is not uncommon for someone to “hit on” me on Meetup. Or LinkedIn, for that matter, which seems even more out of line in my opinion.  Nor FaceBook. Or, Instagram.  You get the picture.

Why do people go on Meetup?  To meet UP, right?  Does that ALWAYS mean they are going to find a new partner?  It absolutely does not.  People go on Meetup because they are lonely and need friends.  They go on there to find like minded people to enjoy a hobby with, like bird watching for example.  In my case, I go on Meetup almost exclusively to market my events and workshops.  Same with all the other platforms I mentioned above.  I don’t mean to be cold.  Yet, the truth is, I’m on there for WORK. 

If I went to a singles event or a poly event that I found on MeetUp, I’d expect people would be interested in me and it would be appropriate for them to approach me in a romantic/sexual way.  But simply having a profile on MeetUp? No. 

Everyone has their own reasons to be on social media, I am sure.  

I consider people private messaging me on any of these sites to say how beautiful I am or to just say “hi, how are you” out of the blue an intrusion.  To be clear, I mean people that I don’t know.  If a friend or former client says hi, it’s all good.  If a potential client private messages me, they would say why they are messaging me.  All of that is good.

It’s a boundary issue.

If I am on on a dating site and someone “hits on me”, that would be expected.  I’m on a DATING SITE.  Dating sites are FOR meeting new partners.  

I can almost hear people from the past saying things like:  “You should be happy for the compliment.” “You’re so beautiful, I can’t help it.”  Again, no.  Those are just excuses for their intrusive behavior.  And I feel annoyed, to be honest, not thankful.  

There’s no context for this kind of behavior just because someone is on any of these sites I listed above.  

However, I am sharing my opinion, setting a boundary, and not apologizing for it.

And I encourage all of you to take this as a reminder that if someone is violating one of YOUR boundaries, you have the right to state how you feel about it and to ask that it not happen again.  And you don’t have to apologize for having a boundary.

I’m not accusing anyone on my mailing list of doing any of these inappropriate things. I want to be clear about that!

However, I am sharing my opinion, setting a boundary, and not apologizing for it.


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