Me, Me, Me, Me, Me

Every once in a while I get someone on Facebook who makes a really negative comment on one of my threads.  I don’t usually attract that sort of thing, and when I do I tend to delete it, as I’m not interested in negativity, and want to keep things loving and positive if I can.

About a month ago, I had posted about being on t.v.  And one of my Facebook “friends” wrote “me, me, me, me, me” as a response.  I did delete it.  And then, it got me thinking.  There are a couple of noteworthy thoughts I had in particular.

First is- yes, ME.  It is so taboo in our culture to admit that we want attention.  And yet, how many of us really got enough of it as children, or as adults, for that matter?  (Okay, yes, there is such thing as too much of it, and that is called enmeshment.  That’s a whole other unhealthy dynamic which we won’t discuss right now.)

Regardless of whether we feel we have or had enough attention in our lives, the real truth is this:  it’s one of our basic human needs.  And we are often shamed for wanting it, by both others AND ourselves.

So, let it be known- attention is good, when it is wanted.   And there is nothing WRONG with wanting it.  We all want someone to ask us how our day was, to ask us how we are doing (and really mean it), to give us a compliment.  That in and of itself does not make us “needy”.  And whether or not we get attention in our lives, we always deserve it.  When I was in life coaching school, people were encouraged to raise their hands and ask for attention when they wanted it.  Asking for and receiving attention when we want it helps us avoid doing something desperate, like setting our hair on fire, 😉 to get it.  And it feels good, asking and receiving.

Incidentally, as the giver, there is much joy and fulfillment available to you, too.  Have you ever given someone a compliment, had them really receive it, and noticed how good you felt afterward? Yet another example of how life really IS a win-win.

The other thing I want to say more specifically about me drawing attention to myself when it comes to anything related to my business is this:  yes, I am drawing attention to myself and my business for ME.  And yes, that benefits me.  That gives me more of my ideal clients to work with, more money, more joy in doing the work I do.  AND, it benefits you.  In part, I focus on myself so that I can focus on you.  I tell some very personal things about myself and my experiences here with the intention that it will benefit YOU.  That in my vulnerability, I give you permission to be vulnerable.  That in my telling of all my “mistakes” in life, you may recognize yourself there too, and perhaps learn a new way to be in the world that feels better to you.

So, yes, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.  And, just as importantly, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU.