Whenever something comes up for me, I also know that if I share it, others can benefit from it too.
I know many of us tend to think we’re unique, including me. The fact is, I know that if I’m going through a “thing,” there’s a very high chance I’m not the only one. None of us is as unique as we might like to think we are. 😉
Here’s the thing: I have had, for decades, a tendency to make myself too busy.
What’s this all about? For one, the patriarchy has taught those of us in our society that to be productive is not only good, it’s required. We’re taught we aren’t worthy if we’re not being productive.
And I have a lot of interests. And a lot of loved ones. And a lot of aspirations.
Any of this sound familiar?
This is what I have created over the summer: Some wonderful times with friends and family. A lot of work opportunities. An increase in income because of that. A new project that is due to launch this fall. Attending a hippie festival. Going on a delicious vacation.
Each of these things is amazing when taken on its own. However, when I attempt to do TOO MUCH, I start to feel overwhelmed, rushed, pressured, and I cannot enjoy any of them in the way that I would like to.
I’m thinking back to when my daughter was first born. I remember deciding that during the period of time when she was an infant, if I got 1-3 other things done in addition to taking care of her, that was enough. And I don’t mean big projects. An example of one thing would be emptying the dishwasher.
That worked well for me.
In contrast, recently I have been in the habit of what I would call excessive socializing, scheduling up to eight events per work day, traveling often, exercising six days a week, meditating every day, plus expecting myself to find time to work on launching my new home study course by November first.
The result? Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, unhappiness.
One of the things that led to that was failing to look at the big picture. For example, saying yes to a social activity without looking at what was happening the day after it, the day before it, the week after it, the week before it.
My body tends to like less, not more, and more spaciousness than my haphazard choices allowed. And my essence pace, the pace at which I naturally do things, is slow.
My life had become “unmanageable,” to borrow from the phrasing of twelve-step programs.
I have a new plan, and it involves a lot more spaciousness. I don’t know all of it yet, necessarily, but here’s what I have so far:
- My self-care is priority #1.
- My primary relationships are priority #2.
- My work will only happen during my designated work hours.
- On a work day, I will only schedule two things. These things will usually be clients but also could be things like a doctor appointment.
- The rest of the time I will spend doing two things: the day-to-day tasks that come up, like responding to emails, or unexpected needs of self or others; and working ON my business, as differentiated from IN my business.
- I will build in times to “do nothing” = simply relax.
- I will schedule a maximum of one social activity per weekend and one social activity during the workdays of a given week.
Of course, I have no idea how this will all be in practice. I haven’t started it all yet.
I’m about to leave for Spain for a month. The first week I will be on vacation and then I’ll be working half days for the last three weeks. When I return, I’ll be trying out my new plan.
I once had a teacher that said: “Life is just one big series of experiments.” I like that, and I’m excited to see what this next experiment brings.
How about you? Do you experience yourself as being too busy? Especially in the times we’re in, managing stress needs, in my opinion, to be prioritized.
I do realize that I am privileged and that others may not be able to design their lives the way I can. However, if that’s the case for you, I would still encourage you to look at the areas where you do have control. If you too are overwhelmed, what can you do less of? What is necessary, and what is optional? What is possible?
I would love to hear your thoughts!