Friends With Benefits: Are They Beneficial? (Part I)
This blog is probably not about what you think it is about. I know, a lot of people out there have judgments about “friends with benefits.” They think it never works out because really we are not “supposed” to be doing that anyway. Sex without love? That’s wrong, how could anything good ever possibly come out of it?
Well, first off, let’s handle that part. Do I think it is often times better to be in love with the person you’re sleeping with? Absolutely. Do I think it always is going to be that way? Hell, no. Do I think it is “wrong” in the eyes of God/Goddess/All That Is? Nope. I think it is simply another choice our souls may make while we’re here on the planet.
Our souls are adventurous and want to experience much diversity while we’re in a body. Friends with benefits may be one of the experiences we choose. If you should make that choice yourself, here are a few things you might want to know:
You both can call it whatever you want. The illusion that you will only be “friends” even though you’re actually having sex with each other is just that- an illusion. In truth, since we are all one, we are all part of All That Is together, we are actually, whether we know it or not, all in love with each other already. So just let go of the illusion that you will not become attached to the “friend” in question. You already are, before even meeting them.
In addition, you may have a past life or parallel life connection with the person. Chances are, you do. We have all been here so many times that the majority of times we encounter a new soul, it is not really “new” to us.
So here’s the really juicy part: In every human interaction, no matter how seemingly trivial, there is an opportunity for learning and growth. Learning and growth are why we are here. Opportunity abounds. We live in a limitless universe. We come from a limitless Source. Yes, the interaction you just had with the clerk at the convenience store has the potential to be a learning experience. So does the one with your brother, sister, or friend. And, you guessed it, so does the one with your friend with benefits.
I was recently reminded of this myself, when I created a profound learning in my relationship with a friend with benefits. I thought I was so cool. I just got out of a long term relationship, I said to myself. I can’t handle anything heavy. I know, I’ll get a friend with benefits. But, really, I should have known, could anything at this point in my life be simple and easy? That’s just not the path I’ve chosen. I’m not complaining. It’s just that I realized- my soul is an over-achiever.
It started out great. There was a strong attraction on both sides. The chemistry was phenomenal. This was not really a stranger, but someone whom I had known before, an acquaintance you could say. But then a couple weeks into it, I noticed I was starting to feel rejected by this guy. He just didn’t seem as interested as I was anymore, and it was really starting to hurt. He said he was interested, but you could have fooled me!
Eventually, after weeks of being on a roller coaster, I ended the arrangement. That’s when the learning really began. I realized that this feeling of wanting the other person so badly and coming up with lots of reasons why it must be my fault that he wasn’t interested felt familiar to me. I had been there before, with someone else. And I didn’t like it, not at all. But what was the learning? I ended up figuring it all out- why it bothered me so much, why I had created the whole situation in the first place, and what the healing opportunity was.
In my next blog, I will share the actual email I sent to my “fwb”, which will give more details. In the meantime, what do you think about friends with benefits? Do you think they can be beneficial? My answer to that is yes, absolutely. If the person is open to the learning, the opportunity is always there.