After a minor meltdown the other day, I was talking to my husband and described him as more “slow and steady” with his emotions, and myself as being more up and down. I am not talking about Bipolar Disorder here. It is more of a general way that I have observed people are — naturally prone to one type of emotional expression or another.
Just this morning, I had one of my “better get ready” experiences. It was of the “up” variety. I went to the gym and had an appointment with my personal trainer. Only having come back from celebrating the 4th of July at Cape Cod minutes ago, I was surprisingly up for working hard. I did some cardio and then started my session. It was core day.
I did my best and by the end of the training, I was all pumped up, proud of myself, and had obviously released some of those feel-good hormones into my bloodstream. When I get happy, I don’t just get a little happy — I get super happy, about little things. I was so happy that I bought myself a “Summer Drink” at Starbucks when I got to the grocery store.
Those that know me know that I hardly ever do things like that. Then I sent a picture to my daughter like it was a huge event. I bought the best organic produce and some different types of flowers to put together an arrangement for our house guest that’s coming later today. I got home and quickly accomplished a bunch of household chores in a very flowing, excited way — including arranging a gorgeous bouquet for the spare bedroom.
And when I get triggered by something, I can get very down very quickly too. That can pass just as quickly as it came on, if I do the right thing for me — which is usually to cry and express what’s coming up for me. This is part of my emotional awareness and self-growth journey.
Sometimes I wish I were more of the other type of emotional person, with a smaller range of feelings. The down times are rough. And then I remember how good it feels to be me when I am in one of those moods like this morning. And I’d rather be me.
In any case, it probably doesn’t much matter what I feel about the type that I am because I’m not sure I have a lot of control over it. I am myself. You are yourself. Sure, we can strive to be different, and that may have some effect, although in general, I think the better move is to appreciate and love who we are and how we are.
Which type are you, do you think? Please write to me and tell me. I’m curious, and I love doing informal polls. Also, how do you feel about your “type,” whether it be “slow and steady,” or “better get ready”?
As I mentioned last time, I am doing some work to prepare for a bit of a career shift, and it has brought about quite a few of those “better get ready” moments — most of them in the “down” category.
As I have long observed, there are two common experiences that can challenge us down to our core wounds in a big way. One is falling in love, and one is starting a new business.
In this case, I am already blissfully in love, celebrating eight years with my beloved soon. Although my partner and I have our challenges at times, for the most part, we are both very blessed and grateful to be together.
Starting my new business, however, is a huge challenge. I have all the typical fears — imposter syndrome asks me who I think I am, what I think I have to offer, and warns of the dangers of sticking my neck out. I am even having some physical issues as a result of my nervous system being so hyped up about the whole thing. I’ve been scared to even tell people what it is about, truthfully.
AND, the time has come…
My new work is going to be about bringing sacred spot massage and tantra healing back to the world in a big way. Sacred spot massage is what I call “The Lost Art: Reclaiming Your Birthright Through Tantra.” Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice, thousands of years old, that has to do with transformation through seeing the Divine in everything.
Tantra is mainly not a sexual practice, although it has been quite sexualized in our modern Western society. Sacred spot massage is a healing practice for emotional release and energy balance, done through internal and external massage of the genitals.
When massaged, these areas can release stuck energy and create profound healings of many kinds for an individual. I’ll say more about what kinds of healing are possible in the future.
In many places in the world, sacred spot massage is either unknown or illegal or both. In some places, like Thailand, for example, it is both legal and commonly practiced by professionals, akin to getting acupuncture in the United States.
It is not illegal in our country to perform sacred spot massage, however, and also not illegal in certain states. It is only illegal in places where it is considered “prostitution” to get paid for it.
I have taught over a hundred people to do it with each other or in a solo practice through my workshops in the past. Some of you reading this email have experienced my workshops. They are wonderful, AND it is time for me to reach the world in a bigger way.
In the coming months, I will be offering multiple ways to bring the benefits of sacred spot massage and tantra self-healing into your own life, in the privacy of your own home.