Okay, I know that some of you are going to think this is unrealistic. Yet I say it in total seriousness.
If you want to have an amazing relationship, you have to put the time in. That’s not the “unrealistic” part.
Here’s what I recommend: As often as you can, take some time for yourselves to be alone together every day. In bed. Naked. With lots of touch.
This is not about sex.
It’s about connection.
I know you have a busy life. I do, too. Sometimes it feels like more than I can take. And still, every day if possible, or at least several times a week, I tell my husband it’s time for our “special time.” Yes, it’s corny. I’m a big fan of corny.
Take off all your clothes. Get in bed together and just touch and hold each other. You will get a big dose of oxytocin. Your breathing will naturally sync up. You will feel more connected.
You don’t have to talk. You can if you want to, but the rule is no talking about stressful things. And just BE with each other.
We started doing this in our house a couple of months ago and the results are incredible. We are so in love. We have more compassion for each other. We are close in a way that watching Netflix together can’t even approach.
It could be morning, noon, or night. Or in the middle of the night if you both have insomnia at the same time. If you have twenty minutes, do it. If you have two hours, do it. Or anywhere in between.
It could involve a cuddle-nap, but it’s best if you don’t make that the whole time.
Try it. Tell me what happens.