Are You Getting Enough “Quality Time”?
I know “quality time” is a cliche that people make a lot of jokes about, but I’ve recently rediscovered how important it is to a relationship. I noticed during my last long term relationship that I was getting more critical of my partner for what seemed like the little stuff. This is always a sign that something bigger is going on. I wasn’t REALLY upset that he was leaving the proverbial cap off the toothpaste, and neither are you. Then something happened which caused me to realize what I WAS really upset about: I was angry that we weren’t spending enough time together.
So, here’s my prescription to make sure you are both getting enough of what you need:
1. Make it a priority to spend time alone together each week. I know that life is busy and you have jobs, houses, and maybe even kids to take care of, but if you ignore the importance of this type of time together, it can really take a toll on your relationship and eventually lead to its demise. And I don’t mean watch tv together after dinner. I mean do something together that includes interaction. Have date night, you know what I mean.
2. Get away together. I realize this may sound like a lot, but my prescription here is that you get away alone together at least three weekends a year, preferably four. Can’t afford it, you say? Maybe you know someone who has a second home they would let you borrow. Or, look for a deal. There are a lot of them out there these days. Bed and breakfasts are usually cheaper than hotels, and provide more atmosphere. Save for these events if you have to. People find money for the things that are important to them.
3. REALLY get away together. Do what it takes to have at lease one vacation alone together per year. Even if it is to your in-laws second home for free. Even if it in the next state. Doesn’t matter. The point is, spending that prolonged amount of time alone rekindles the love and passion that can seem like it’s missing when (s)he does that thing the rest of the year that just drives you mad..