“Extreme Self Care”

Back when The Oprah Winfrey Show was big, Oprah used to feature a life coach named Cheryl Richardson.  Cheryl used to talk about a concept called “extreme self care”.  In fact, she wrote a book called The Art of Extreme Self Care.  I have not read Cheryl’s book, but I have borrowed the term she coined and I strive to engage in extreme self care daily.

In the study of iridology, people are classified as different types according to what their irises, the colored parts of their eyes, look like.  I am what’s known as a Stream Jewel.  A Stream Jewel has the strongest constitution of all the types and is known to be very productive and task oriented.  That I certainly am!  But as with all Stream Jewels, I also have a tendency to overdo things, to do too much, which in turn affects both my physical and emotional well being.  It is for that reason that I have made extreme self care the main focus of my life.

Even if you are not a Stream Jewel, I highly recommend extreme self care.  It is not only a way of loving yourself, I have also found that when I am taking excellent care of myself I can accomplish at least as much, if not more, than when I’m not.  And I have a higher quality of life in the process.

For me, extreme self care includes things like getting plenty of sleep at night, taking a nap each and every day, spending some time reading every day, spending time outside in nature, daily meditation, prayer, and eating highly nutritional, organic foods.  It can certainly include other things as well, such as getting massages, getting hands on healing, taking herbal supplements, and being careful not to over-schedule myself.

What would extreme self care look like for you?  I know the concept is not popular in our society.  Many times we are told that to engage in such things makes us “selfish”.  I have reframed that to say it makes us self loving.

Many of my clients who are parents have proudly told me that they put their children first.  One client had a whole hierarchy established of who was first, second, etc. in her life.  God was first.  Her kids were second, her partner was on there.  She herself was nowhere on that list.

I have heard many people say that it is their job to put their kids before themselves, because they love their kids and it is their responsibility as parents.  I say the opposite: it is your job to take care of yourself first.  If you don’t make sure that you are not only okay, but actually thriving to the best of your ability, you are doing your kids a disservice.  The better off you are, the better parent, lover, sister, brother, son, daughter, or employee you can be.

It’s kind of like that little movie they play on the plane before takeoff.  You know, the one that shows the passenger putting on her own oxygen mask before putting on her child’s oxygen mask for her.  Apparently, airlines have long known what most of the population doesn’t: you can’t take care of others properly until you have taken care of yourself first.

What do you think?  I know many of you probably believe putting others first is the “right” thing to do.  I prefer not to think of choices in life in terms of either “right” or “wrong”, but rather to think of those choices as: What works best for me now?  How do I feel when I do this, or that?  How can I be the most gentle and loving with myself, therefore having not only the best quality of life for myself, but also being able to serve others to the best of my ability?  I’d love it if you’d share your own thoughts and ideas on the topic.