A New Beginning

Today is January 1, 2019.   I’ve never been a “party girl” on New Year’s Eve (wellll, maybe once or twice…), and have generally not considered New Year’s a big deal. This year, however, I feel different.   I’ve been struggling over the past year with illness, financial challenges, and fear about launching myself back into my work after many months of lying low.  (Don’t worry, I’m gonna be here for many years to come; I have way too much work to do before I die!) Yet, last night, as my Beloved and I celebrated New Year’s ...

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How Kink Changed my Life

I'm being a little facetious here, but not really.  I mean, yes, adding a dimension of kink into my life several years ago as a regular thing has  most definitely improved the quality of my life.  I've decided it is an essential element for me to be truly happy, like exercise, or good food.  Good kink-yesssss! And then recently, as you may know, I've been riding the waves of some heavy duty grief.  I'm grieving two losses at once. You know how people say the thing:  'how can I help', or whatever?  Well, that's a very nice thing to say, right?  And usually ...

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The Gift Within

I can think back on certain experiences in my life, the ones that seemed so hard to go through at the time, and see the gifts that were contained inside them.  Surely, though, as I was meeting those challenges, I couldn't see any gifts at all.  In fact, I'm quite sure it was more like:  "What was I thinking when I signed up for this?!"  (Anyone relate?) Just in the past five years, there were several.  Case in point, when I got into my first polyamorous relationship and experienced jealousy, I was kind of blown away by the intensity of it.  Previously, I hadn't ...

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If You Listen

Sometimes, clients will ask me what I think they "should be" working on.  Last week, during the tail end of Mercury Retrograde, I had enough snafus to prove to myself that my standard answer to that question is very good advice:  if there is something that is your/my next learning edge, it will present itself.  We don't need to go digging into the past, OR the present, in order to clearly see what our next growth opportunity is. I'll tell you a story, even though it's fairly embarrassing, of what pointed me in the direction I need to be going right now.  As many of ...

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Afraid to “Like” Me?

Through a number of recent conversations with friends, I have come to realize that there are likely a lot fewer people out there who "like" me (on Facebook, social media) than those who like me.  And these are real, actual friends I am talking about, not social media "friends".  If even my friends are thinking of the consequences to their careers and families, for example, of publicly acknowledging their viewpoints, I can only imagine what it is like for those that do not even know me. I get it.  I'm sure I've done the same thing:  not "liked" something on Facebook, ...

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Growing Pains

So, do you remember when you were a kid and you would get those "growing pains"- like when your body was literally growing so fast that it hurt?  Well, I've been thinking that those pains don't only pertain to kids.  And they're not only about physical growing. The other day I was feeling kind of down, and I ended up realizing that it wasn't really sadness I was feeling- it was fear.  And I landed on the source of the uneasiness, which was that I am going through (and have been going through) so many changes, so much growth.  I started to do some writing about it, ...

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I Talk to Myself

I know you're probably thinking one of two things: either "You're crazy." or "Doesn't everyone?"  What I am referring to, though, is not the regular, everyday kind of talking to myself (of course, you won't be surprised to learn I do that too).   It's a new kind of talking to myself that I recently invented. I have started using it whenever I find myself in a funk.  Like, I wake up in the morning and I feel kind of blah or low energy, probably not even for any particular reason.  Or, a series of things happen during that day that seem "bad" and I find myself in a ...

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“ULP!”

Some of you may have seen my recent Facebook post when I mentioned something about all parts of my life "working" at the same time?  Well, that lasted about twenty-four hours!   Literally the next day, I was overwhelmed, unmotivated, tired, and feeling depressed. So, what happened? ...

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Best Breakup Tips

Every time I have another breakup, it seems, I get better and better at getting through the aftermath in a healthy way.  That does not mean it is now fast and easy for me.  It means it is as fast and easy as it can be, which is still long and difficult. I'm not trying to sugar-coat things here. If you've recently had a breakup, feel you are heading that way,  or are just nosy ;) and want to see how I'm handing it, check out my best breakup tips, below:...

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What Are We Rewarding?

I think my daughter goes to a "good" high school.  By that I mean it is a relatively safe, low-violence place where my experience has been that the majority of administrators and other staff there are engaged and enthusiastic about the work they are doing with our young people.  As with many things in life, however, the term "good" is all relative. I have no doubt that the staff there are well-meaning.  And, they are still a product of our society. ...

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