Love Is…On The Sheets!

You know how some people are self-taught musicians?  Well, I am a self-taught squirter.  Never heard of that?  Well, I’m coining a new phrase then.

It all started when the man I was dating years ago, in my first quasi-polyamorous relationship, introduced the subject.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, one of his other partners was a squirter, and he thought it was pretty cool.  So he started showing me porn with women squirting.  Prior to that, I had heard of it, but hadn’t actually seen any squirting.

He and I also had another partner that we shared.  She was a squirter!  One night they both came to my house with the sole mission of getting me to squirt.  (Just a word of advice, putting pressure on a woman to perform doesn’t usually achieve the desired results.  Just sayin’.)  I did make her squirt, and that was fun.  And, I didn’t squirt.  I came like eighteen times- okay, I’m exaggerating, but just a little- , but squirt I did not.

After that, being the people-pleaser that I was at the time, I was determined to figure this thing out!  I got books on squirting.  I got videos on squirting.  I talked to people about squirting.  I “practiced”.  No squirting.

Ironically, a year or two after I broke up with him, I squirted.  I was by myself, practicing again in my room.  And all of a sudden, I did it.  The sensation was amazing.  Hard to describe.  It feels kind of like pleasure in motion.  Flowing pleasure.  I found it rather addictive, immediately.  I came several more times and soaked my bed.

At that time, my brother was living at my house.  He was downstairs in the living room.  I remember being so excited about it that I got up, threw some clothes on, walked straight downstairs, and told him about it.  You’d have to know us to get how that is not actually creepily incestuous :).  We are both very sexual people.  We share things like that.  He really got how exciting this was for me.  I remember him congratulating me, and then both of us laughing at the hilarity and the joy of a brother congratulating a sister on such a thing!

What was left on my sheets, not just female ejaculate, or amrita, but the shape of a perfect heart made by my squirting, should have been a sign to me at the time.  It was in a way, and I didn’t get the full message.  I know, some people wouldn’t see that as a wink from the Universe.  And, I’m sure you’ve figured this out by now:  I’m not your run-of-the-mill type of person.