I Felt Blissful with the Flu
I know this may sound impossible…who would feel blissed out while sick with the flu?
Well, it DID happen, and NOW I understand the reason behind it.
The last time I got the flu was the last time I had a flu shot, 20 years ago.
I remember lying in my bed, feeling like I was gonna die. You’ve been there, right? And not just feeling sick, but also adding on the “double whammy” of feeling sorry for myself. I was recently divorced, and alone, with no one to take care of me- definitely one of the drawbacks to getting divorced, by the way.
Then I remembered a technique I had learned in life coaching school, of going TOWARD a “bad thing” instead of trying to avoid it. So I did it. I started to allow myself to really FEEL the body sensations I was having, like the intense pain in my throat. And I stayed with it. I went deeper and deeper into my body sensations. After a period of time, say 30 minutes, I realized that I was no longer feeling miserable and sick. The sensations in my throat had turned from pain to pleasure, and comfort. And I felt happy, even blissful. I know it sounds weird, but I kid you not.
Fast forward to yesterday, first thing in the morning. I’d committed to getting back to my morning spiritual reading in “The Way of Mastery” after a period of either not doing it or doing it quite unenthusiastically (read: not beneficial). The night before I had a phone call with one of my besties about the slump I’ve been in, emotionally and spiritually. And I recommitted to doing my morning reading and mediation every day. I was really into it. I read the following sentence and it made perfect sense to me:
“Spirituality is merely a process of seeing things differently.”
It was about ALLOWING. One of the examples in the book is to say things to yourself like: “I allow these raindrops to fall”, when it is raining. In DBT language, it’s about radical acceptance.
You see, I was stuck in a slump because I was lamenting certain uncontrollable circumstances of my life. It was the same when I had the flu. I was lamenting that I had the flu in the first place. Aka whining.
Whining is the opposite of allowing, yes?
In the flu example, I let go of the whining in order to go further INTO the flu symptoms. I ALLOWED myself to feel what I was feeling. And the result I got was one that backs up another spiritual truth: ALL THINGS ARE NEUTRAL. It is only thinking that colors circumstances one way or the other. Having the flu is “bad”. Being healthy is “good”. Well, who says?!
When I was able to stop resisting having the flu, I got to a state of physical and emotional bliss thus reinforcing another spiritual truth: that OUR NATURAL STATE IS JOYFUL, LIGHT. When we are not doing something (ie., thinking) to mess it up, we feel good!
And you know what? Since making the commitments I made with my friend on the phone Tuesday night, I am also feeling more joyful, light, and energized.
We all resist. That’s what the ego does. And we all have an ego.
What are you resisting?
Would you like to choose again?
How can you allow, instead?