When Your Offspring is Wiser Than You Are
As some of you know, I’ve been taking up jogging recently. Well, truth is, it’s not recent. I’ve been jogging for years, on and off- really slowly, and really short distances…
And then my daughter came home from college for the summer. And she finally got her wish: I’ve been jogging with her, and I am pushing myself to go faster, and farther. I don’t know what it is. She’s been trying to get me to do this for years. And now suddenly, I am willing. And I’m doing it. And I love it.
I used to go like two miles on my own, maybe less. Then she got me to do three. That wasn’t so bad. Once during the winter, I accidentally went three on my own. 😉 (Took a wrong turn.)
Then the day that I had agreed to go four miles, and even faster than before, it was cold and pouring outside. But I still wanted to do it. I was psyched up.
I was also pretty scared because I had never done this particular route before, and I knew at least enough to know that there were some substantial hills in store for us. Oh, that’s the other thing- hills. I was used to jogging on a flat, wooded path. Not only did I make it without stopping the whole way, there was something eerily fun about it. When, of course, I was not focusing on how cold I was, or how much my lungs hurt, or…running for me now is kind of what I call “the torture that I love”.
That one cold, rainy day, though, I wouldn’t have been able to make it without my kid. She really is the best coach ever. (Not like that guy from the P90 series that makes everything so hard while simultaneously saying the most asinine things. Ahem.) Here are some of the things she says to me:
1. You have to promise you will run the whole time. Walking is just as hard as running really slow.
2. You can do it.
3. If you go fast up the hills, it makes the rest seem easy.
4. I’m so proud of you!
These statements may seem like nothing out of the ordinary; however, even when I run without her, I use them. And I realized…these things are not just good for running, they are good for LIFE. Here’s how I reconfigure them in my head:
1. I promise myself to do my best. I will not wimp out. I will hold myself accountable. There’s a difference between not wanting to go on any more and not being ABLE to go on anymore, in both jogging AND life. Wimping out IS just as hard as cutting myself some slack (aka self-compassion), yet still going on. Harder, actually. When I cop out, I feel like shit.
2. I tell myself: I CAN do it. I can do it. The energy that creates worlds is the life force energy within me. I can do anything. I am God/dess.
3. Great metaphor for life. It’s about admitting how tough I really am. I’ve been used to dealing with a lot emotionally. I knew I was emotionally tough. But pushing myself physically? I was a bit of a stranger to that. Come to find out, I am physically and mentally strong as well! No more pretending that I’m not. The more I show myself I can get through, the more I have in my memory stores to remind me of how strong I am when the next “hill”comes up!
4. I’m so proud of myself. Another good reminder, to appreciate myself and praise myself regularly on my accomplishments. Or, simple for BEING me. All part of loving myself.
I’ve never been one to think that my child doesn’t know things just because she’s my child. Hell, kids know a lot more than we do a lot of the time. If we would just listen. This time, I’m definitely glad I did!