The Power Of Love
More specifically, I received some news from a colleague that I had been working on a project with for the past few months which left me feeling sad, angry, and betrayed.
If I’m to be honest: I did all the usual things I do when I have a conflict with someone else, (which isn’t that often, thank Goddess). I cried, I made up stories about the other person’s intentions, had revenge fantasies, thought of a few choice words for my colleague, judged the other person, felt like a victim, told myself I was foolish for being so trusting, you know the routine, I’m sure. I’m human. Most humans go into their ego a bit after a conflict. This went on for an hour or so. And then I let it go and went to bed.
I woke up the next morning a bit more OUT of my ego and INTO my heart. I remembered how they are a good person. I knew that they didn’t mean to hurt me. I wrote some notes about what I wanted to say back to them at our next meeting. I softened, both toward them and toward myself. I got out of the black and white thinking, and into the gray. We’re all imperfect humans. We all do things that hurt other people sometimes. We all have our blind spots. I am responsible for everything that I create in my life. All is/will be well, no matter how this turns out.
I woke up today a little nervous about our follow-up meeting, which was scheduled for after lunch. And, I decided to do something about that. I asked them if it would be okay to do a mini-meditation and create some sacred space before we started talking about business. They were open, so we did that. Being in our field, we’re really hip to that sort of stuff. 😉
And then in a very grounded way, I told them that I knew they were a good person, that they didn’t mean to upset me, and asked them if they were open to hearing about my thoughts and feelings. They said yes. We did a process of reflective listening with each other. We took our time, we were both kind and at the same time I sensed there was full transparency on both sides. We each came to a deeper understanding of the situation and each other. And then we made new agreements that worked for both of us, for a win-win.
I am left with such a warm and hopeful feeling about the power of love. There were many other choices I/we could have made. I could have been accusatory, I could have put negative labels on his behavior, he could have been defensive, he could have dismissed what I was saying, we could have decided to dissolve our working relationship.
But we both chose LOVE instead. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I’m so grateful for love. And, no, this is not a person that I’m in a romantic or sexual relationship with, or ever have been. However, the way our conversation went is exactly the way I would always want my important relationship conversations to go.
Take time, sit with each other, create sacred space, open up your hearts, really hear each other, have compassion for each other, and choose generosity. It’s a winning formula!
If you need help navigating YOUR relationship(s), I invite you to a free Connection Call with me, during which we will talk about your challenge and where you’d like to be with it, make a plan to get you there, and discover whether I can help you, too. And if we are not a good match to work together, I will point you in the right direction to find the resources that are right for you. My #1 aim is to be of service. You can schedule your free Connection Call HERE.
I also have a Facebook Group for women who have lost their desire for sex, often a consequence of unhealed sexual abuse. It is called The Turned on Woman Community, and you can join it HERE. Come and get information and support from both me and other group members!