How Do I Love Thee?

Oh Slutcracker, Slutcracker, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I went to see the Slutcracker last weekend.  I believe it was my third year in a row.  I can’t wait ’til it comes out again next year.

(For those of you not in the know: via Wikipedia-The Slutcracker is a burlesque, satirical version of The Nutcracker that is the creation of Babes in Boinkland troupe director Vanessa White. It has been performed in Somerville, Massachusetts, and Montreal, Canada. The performance incorporates burlesque and tango dancers, drag kings, hoopers, ballerinas, acrobats, and belly dancers in a retelling of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky‘s ballet from the point of view of a young woman who experiences a sexual awakening during a holiday dream-like sequence.)

This year, I found an even greater appreciation for the show and, a day or two afterward, found myself reciting Elizabeth Barret Browning’s famous sonnet aloud, with slightly different words. 😉

I love thee for the irony with which you take the traditional performance of The Nutcracker, a well-known holiday classic,  and make it so much better by slutting it up.

I love thee for the way you represent the letting go of sexual inhibitions (for Clara) and insecurities (for Fritz) in a way that delights and dare I say turns on the audience.

I love thee for the pairing of unprecedented talent- with sluttiness.  It always was a false separation anyway.

I love thee for the way you draw sluts of all sexual orientations and identities to dress up in their sluttiest wear and flaunt their sexual energies amongst each other (like lemmings to a cliff) to Yourself.

I love thee for the inclusiveness of ALL body types, and how you unendingly show us that when someone FEELS sexy, well, they ARE! (Damn if I wasn’t attracted in some way to every single person on that stage!)

I love thee for the beauty that you remind us that sluttiness IS- from the cascading bodies down a stripper pole, to the gyrating hips of the hoopers, to the gorgeous pinks and greens of the Waltz of the Flowers.  It’s all simply a dream!

I love thee for the way you help us to take the modern world’s seriousness out of sex.  THAT  has always been a false pairing!

I love thee for the way you remind us that, although love is grand, full sexual expression makes it grandER!

And most of all, Slutcracker, I can’t even think of how to possibly end this sonnet.  The wonders of love, open and free sexuality, talent, inclusiveness, sex positivity, hooping, dildos, cleavage, BDSM, sparkly areolae, and creatures with penis-shaped tubing for snouts are so tremendous that not even a S.E.X.-loving freak like me can name all of them.  Thank you, thank you, thank you. ♥

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