Feeling Disconnected? Timing Is Everything!

I’ll save the topic of timing of sex for another day…

For today, however, you know those times when you’re upset about something to do with your relationship and you want to talk about it, in hopes that you’ll feel better?  

(Or, maybe you’re the type that DOESN’T usually want to talk about it, for fear of feeling worse.)

I am usually the first type.  I trust in the process of clear, honest communication.  

Yesterday was an intense day for me.  In the morning I had an energy healing session.  Those are amazing, but can also come with a bit of a ‘hangover’ sometimes for the first day or two.  Then in the afternoon I had a group session from an anti-racist class I am currently taking.  That class, again, was wonderful, AND also brought up a lot of deep emotions pertaining to my allyship journey.  

And as if that weren’t enough, I also got into a spontaneous, unplanned disagreement with my partner while we both just happened to be in the kitchen at the same time.  This is EXACTLY what I consistently tell my clients not to do.  Well, I did it!  (Just in case you needed some reassurance that I’m not perfect, lol.)

By the time dinner was over and I was winding down for the night, I was a bit of an emotional mess.  I think it was having the time for all of what had happened that day to really sink in.  And of the three things that affected me significantly that day, the disagreement with my beloved was the one that was REALLY on my mind.  And I was definitely feeling DISCONNECTED from him. 

He is pretty perceptive and asked what was wrong.  I told him all about my day, and what was on my mind.  However, I specifically decided not to go into any depth about what we’d discussed earlier.  I told him that I really thought what was best for me was just to go to sleep, as I was aware that I was generally emotionally disregulated.  When someone is disregulated, that is NEVER a good time to have a relationship discussion.  

I hoped that I’d get a good night’s sleep, and would feel a lot better in the morning.  I was also afraid I might not sleep well.

But I guess my exhaustion was in my favor.  I slept through the night and woke up feeling A LOT better this morning.  We made a plan yesterday- we will bring our discussion back up on Saturday.  Now I’m no longer dreading it, and feeling a lot more hopeful that it will be relatively smooth and will even help us grow when we DO talk about “it” again.
———————————————————————————————————————————–