Mirror, Mirror

You may have heard the saying:  “other people are your mirror”?  What that means to me is, other people have a gift for us, even when we may not at first perceive it as such.  Other people in our lives are mirroring to us something about ourselves.  It can be a hard fact to accept.  It seems much easier to simply blame, criticize, and judge.  Or that has certainly been the popular way, anyhow.  It is not simply that our partner, for example, has an issue, and if it causes problems in the relationship, it is their fault.  It is never anyone’s fault.  Both people co-create every situation, in every relationship, not just romantic ones- for a reason.  For both of their highest good, growth, and learning, should we choose to take the opportunity.

For example, there is someone in my life (not naming names here) who has been on a destructive path with alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes, destroying his emotional and physical health.  I will admit, for years I judged him and was very angry.  (By the way, I say “in my life”, although I interact with this person to the extent that it is healthy for me at any given time, which is constantly fluctuating.)  Today, I have a different view of it.  I am open to the possibility that he is in actuality a very advanced soul- trust me, it happens in these situations- that has come here to be the contrast for other people.  The contrast is showing people what they don’t want for themselves, so they can get clear on what they do want.  The idea is that he loves humanity so much that he chose this life to help others.

I used to think: how is this person my mirror?  I’m nothing like him.  I don’t abuse drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes…That’s the tricky part about mirrors.  People often get fooled because the behavior in the other person doesn’t have to look the same- at all- to be the same in its essence.

What I have come to know is that he mirrors my wasted potential.  I get to see that I am wasting my life by not fully embracing my life purpose yet, or at the very least going about it at a snail’s pace, due to the terror of really going for it.  I get to see the contrast, an extreme example of what I don’t want, in order to know what I do want.

I don’t want stagnation, self-abuse, illness, depression, self-loathing, denial, and lack of hope.  I do want action, joy, expansiveness, consciousness, self-love, and self-realization.  I also want to help the world in a different way, by helping people realize what they do want, what they can have, in terms of sacred union, instead of showing the contrast to people of what they don’t want.

Being someone’s mirror can also occur in the opposite way.  That’s how I came to decide to write this blog today.  I have been overwhelmed with the amount of love, compassion, thoughtfulness, and generosity my friends and family have shown me during this grief process I am in.  I was thinking to myself:  “How did I get so lucky as to have all of these wonderful people in my life?”

And then one day I realized:  I have them in my life because they are my mirror, too.  I am loving, compassionate, thoughtful, and generous.

I am love.  And so are you.

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