The Art of Mindfulness
I’m sure many of you have heard of this concept of mindfulness. I first heard of it when I was in graduate school and I read the book Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. (He was, at least at the time, in charge of the stress management program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center and he is one of those really cool guys who hyphenated his last name when he got married 😉 .) Mindfulness is really being in the moment. Not in the past, not in the future, simply in the present. Taking in the present moment with all your senses. For instance, in this moment, what do you see in front of you and with your peripheral vision? Are there any sounds that you hear? Are you aware of any body sensations? Do you smell anything? And, if you are eating, what do you feel or taste on your tongue?
I’ve known about this concept for decades. And, there can be a big difference between knowing about something and actually practicing it. I jokingly said to my friend recently: “I’d remember about mindfulness about every five years, and then forget about it again.” Obviously, that is an exaggeration, and I did have a really hard time remembering to be mindful! And then all of a sudden about a month ago, I was reminded of mindfulness again, and the concept just clicked. I was mindful a lot more often, and discovered what everyone’s been talking about: it really can make life so much more pleasant.
William Shakespeare, in Hamlet, was on to something when he wrote;”There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” If you think about it, that’s true. Take flowers, for example. Normally, most people are happy when someone gives them flowers, right? And, what if the flowers are at the funeral of a loved one? Would most people be happy in that situation? Maybe yes; probably not. Although, the flowers haven’t changed. Flowers just are. What changes is a person’s perception of them. A person percieves flowers, or anything at all, according to their thoughts about the flowers. “That was really nice of George to give me those flowers” versus, say: “These flowers are going to die, just like my grandmother.”
It is the same with mindfulness. If we are practicing mindfulness, there is a kind of neutrality present. It is simply being senstively aware of what is happening in each moment. No thoughts, therefore, to judge something as “good” or “bad”.
What if we trained ourselves gradually to go around our whole lives in mindfulness? Jon Kabat-Zinn says that’s what he does. And he sounds like he is blissfully happy just about all the damn time- just sayin’. Maybe doing the laundry wouldn’t be so “bad” if done mindfully. Or, washing the dishes. Or making that commute to work. And, what if we were mindful during S.E.X., instead of thinking about the grocery list? Or while interacting with our children? What gifts would we then receive?
I invite each of you to practice some mindfulness today. And, please write to me about your experience when you do!
Tony Bogardus
August 29, 2012 (1:40 am)
I love it! It’s funny, because I have two books on Mindfulness, and I have never been ‘in the moment’ enough to sit down and read them, even though I have no doubt that I would enjoy them – both the reading itself, and then the application of the principles. I don’t think they made it here when I returned from Florida, so I think I’ll ask my mom to send them up to me, if she can find them.
Great example with the flowers – so much of life is perception. This often comes to my mind when I think of the police….When you are speeding, or doing something else that you know you shouldn’t, the police are like Stormtroopers, bent on ruining your day or your good time. But when that same police officer risks life and limb to come to your aid in a tough situation, he is a genuine hero. He’s not doing anything differently – it’s all in your reaction to him (or her) doing their job.
I am going to make a conscious effort to be Mindful tomorrow, from my dealings with people and situations at work, to my time spent in the company of my cat (I actually do pretty well with that one already!), to the ‘date’ that I am not particularly looking forward to tomorrow nite…..Haha! I will let you know how it goes…..
Maria Merloni
August 30, 2012 (8:09 pm)
Haha that’s so funny about the cop example- I was just thinking about that the other day. You, however, sound much more conscious about it than I was. I was coming up with a Utopian world where cops do not sneak around trying to catch people doing stuff they’re not supposed to be doing. They just wait at the station in case someone calls in distress!
Mayang
October 2, 2012 (9:27 pm)
Mindfulness is our lifetime practice. It’s takes practice, practice, practice.
Maria Merloni
October 4, 2012 (1:41 pm)
Yes, I agree. We are not supposed to be perfect at it; it is in the practicing of it that we benefit from the experience.
Wendy
November 29, 2012 (3:22 am)
I never realized until around July when my life started falling apart how un- mindful I really was. As a single, working mother of two. I used to the mundane routine of everyday life. It all changed when I was evicted from my apartment and my children had to go live with their father. To make matters worse DCF got involved in our lives and it came to be that I could only have supervised visitations with my daughter. I must say I do not take any moment I spend with her for granted and am always in the moment now when I am with her. This has helped me with being mindful for most of the time, of course i get distracted and am not always in the moment lol.
Maria Merloni
November 29, 2012 (12:49 pm)
That sounds like a good example of how there is always a gift in every “bad” experience. At least one of the gifts you received was learning how to be mindful and to appreciate what is happening in the moment. And yeah, I don’t know anyone who’s mindful ALL the time!