I Did It!
So last Thursday (Thanksgiving) I ran my first road race, a “turkey trot.” It was five miles. Not that that’s such a huge accomplishment. I mean, I’m proud of myself, AND people do many more amazing things in the world. It’s not really the SIZE of the feat that is noteworthy- though-for anyone, it’s how challenging it is for the person that is significant. AND, how they get through the challenge. That’s what I want to talk about today.
I was pretty freaked out when the race first began. As I said, it was my first race, and what people say about getting “trampled” is kind of true. People were bumping into me, stepping on my sneakers, that kind of thing. So that was part of my fear.
The bigger part, though, was the fact that I lost touch with myself. I felt like I was running faster than my usual pace at the beginning, and yet I wasn’t sure. I started to be scared that if I was going too fast I would get tired really soon and I would either start to feel nauseous, or have a lot of physical pain and suffering, or both. Evidence to the contrary: my daughter (who was running with me) said we weren’t going that fast. People were passing us. I was in a place of confusion.
One thing I did know for sure: I needed to calm down, so I could start having a better time. I want to share with you a bit about what my inner dialogue sounded like, because it’s a good example of how I/we can use Abraham principles when we get stuck in life. It sounded something like this: My ego: “Oh my God, this is torture. We’ve just started and I already don’t like it.” Abraham lingo that helped: “I can’t get it wrong, and I can never get it done (eternal life, not the race ;)) …hey, that’s kind of comforting.” Ego: “Wait, that was only the one mile mark?! I’m doomed.” The voice of reason/ what Abraham calls reaching for a better-feeling thought: “No, I can just think of this as taking another jog. I take jogs like this all the time. I can do this.” Ego, back in action: “This sucks. I must have been crazy when I said I wanted to do this.” Abraham stuff: “I am always on my path. It is impossible for me to be off of it. The less debris (resistance) I put on my path, the better I feel.” And on like this it went, back and forth, back and forth, until we were nearing the end. Then my ego said: “Hey, she’s speeding up. I can’t go that fast. I feel sick. I can’t believe I still have to go up that hill.” “Wait, I can’t get it wrong, and I can never get it done “. “Whoa, that’s the finish line, isn’t it? It’s sooner than I thought. I DON’T have to go up that hill. I’m crossing it. I did it!”
So here’s what I (re) learned:
- Connect in with myself before taking on a challenge. (One easy way to do this- meditation. I could have gotten up just a little earlier and meditated before the race. I always meditate before my runs at home…why didn’t I do it this time?)
- Listen to my own inner knowing. I knew I was going faster than I usually do. And I also knew I didn’t care about how fast my time was. That’s not what it’s about for me. Yet, I was easily swayed as I was NOT in touch with myself to begin with.
- All fear is about forgetting who we really are. When I’m connected in with my divine being, all is well, no matter what it looks like.
- If it’s not fun, I’m not doing it.