What if Affairs Were a Thing of the Past?

What if the only parts of love “affairs” were the good parts that I talked about in my last blog?

What if those whose souls truly, deeply wanted to be monogamous with each other chose that, and the rest chose polyamory?

What if those “affairs” weren’t really affairs anymore, and were simply loving another person in addition to the partner(s) we already loved?

What if people learned to trust themselves and each other?

What do you think the world would be like if all those things came to pass?

I think it would be a much happier place!  There would be honesty, integrity, deep connection, incredible learning and growth, and most of all- more love shared!

We could all drop the judgment of ourselves and others for our choices in S.E.X. and love. Polyamorists could allow for those that chose monogamy to be “right” just as they are “right”.  Monogamists could reciprocate that respect.  Because we would not have to continue to push against anything at all.  We wouldn’t have to feel the need to make others “wrong” so we could be “right”.  We could think of our choices instead in terms of what serves us best, not in terms of right or wrong, black or white.  Instead of either/or we could move to the more abundant perspective of both/and.  Ahhhh…..how does that feel?  To me, it feels more spacious.

When a couple has been together for a while, things are naturally not as exciting as they used to be.  Those hormones that I mentioned earlier wear off and are replaced with some that still feel like love, but more like familial love, in a sense.  They can start to feel like they’ve lost that spark for each other.  In a monogamous relationship/marriage, this usually leads to the couple either living in a less-than-alive-state for the rest of their lives (as in “til death do us part”) or to ending the relationship, with or without cheating having occurred first.  Those couples faced with limited options still love each other.

Occasionally,  the couple will work on re-igniting their relationship and will arrive back at a place of deep happiness together, but that is all too rare, in my opinion.  And my hunch is that it only works with couples whose souls actually want to be monogamous.  This does not describe the souls of the majority of couples in monogamous relationships today.

If, however, the couple had decided to become polyamorous, one or both of them would likely fall in love with someone else.  Now, I understand some of you may be thinking that would spell disaster for the original relationship.  However, if it is done transparently, allowing for the processing of issues and feelings as they come up, it can actually result in the original relationship being renewed and enhanced.   Think about it:  at least one of the partners is now feeling more alive.  They are having more experiences about which they are excited.  They’ve got that spring back in their step.  Their sex drive is enhanced.  And they are bringing that new level of aliveness back to their original relationship.  That sh*t is contagious!  And that’s when the bliss of a love “affair” as well as the deep bond and connection of a long-term relationship can be enjoyed for all the benefits they have to offer.

 

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