We Are “Those People”

The other night my partner and I decided to get dressed up and go out to dinner.  There was a new restaurant we wanted to check out.  We were seated in a lovely area at a table for four, with two seats on a bench and two at chairs across from the bench.  At first, I sat in one of the chairs, knowing that my partner (like most men) likes his back against the wall, so he can keep an eye on everything from there.  Soon after, I decided to join him on the bench.  We will often sit this way when we go out to dinner, so that we can touch and kiss each (not make out) throughout the meal.

During the meal, I was observing the other couples seated near us.  Some appeared to be on a date, one couple looked like it was their first date, others were obviously married and/or together for many years.  Not one other couple, however, was sitting on the same side of the table.  And not one other couple seemed to be doing any touching of each other at all.

I remarked to my boyfriend that others are missing out on all the fun we were having by not sitting next to each other at their tables.  He told me that we are one of those couples that other people complain about on Facebook, as in:  “…as bad as those people that sit on the same side of the table at a restaurant.”  Not being a frequent flyer on Facebook, I actually had no idea.  Yet somehow I was not surprised.

Aren’t “we” the kind of people that others complain about, doing all that hugging, kissing, and touching in public?  I actually had an (adult!) client tell me the other day that he thinks it is “disgusting” to see couples kissing in public.  Really?!

I think it’s time to take a look at what the big fuss is about.  Are most of us, as a society, so uncomfortable with physical affection, that we can’t even stand a little pda?  What, after all, is really so “disgusting” about it?  Is it that it reminds people of all the touch and joy they are not creating in their lives?

I do recall, during a period when I wasn’t having sex in my life, finding it really difficult to listen to others talk about the sex they were having.  Maybe it’s like that, but with affection and touch.

Or…is it just too embarrassing to see others being affectionate in public?  And if it is, why is that?

I’ll tell ya what:  going by what I hear in my office and what I read, there is not a whole lotta anything going on for many couples- sex and affection included.

If you find you are getting a bit defensive and huffy right now, it could mean that you are one of “those people” that complain about “those people.”  🙂  I would invite you to try sitting on the same side of the table the next time you go out to dinner.  And then try touching each other.  Put a hand on your partner’s thigh.  Touch each others back or shoulders.  Hold hands.  Snuggle.  Maybe even (gasp) sneak in a little kiss.  And then see what happens.  I concede, if you’ve never done it before, you may feel a bit self-conscious or awkward at first.  And still…see if you don’t have more fun!

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