Warning: Rant about Ranting Ahead

As those of you who read my blog regularly know, I rarely go on a rant about anything….and I feel once coming on.  Just sayin’

This particular rant got triggered by a post I read the other day, in which a Facebook friend of mine (whom I don’t know personally) stated that she was “curious” about the poly lifestyle and then went on to judge it as being not only morally wrong but inferior to the monogamous lifestyle.  First of all, let’s call a spade a spade:  “curiosity” and judgment are two very different things.

I’m not saying this judgment goes one way.  I have seen those that are into polyamyory judging the monogamous lifestyle as well.  I myself am guilty as having presented polyamory, or at least non-monogamy, as being the “natural” way for all of us.  I have since changed my mind about that, but nevertheless- I said it.

What I believe is really true is that monogamy is natural for some, and non-monogamy (including polyamory) is natural for others.  The fact that the majority of souls on the planet right now have chosen non-monogamy (in spirit, if not in practice) does not mean that non-monogamy is superior to monogamy.  It’s simply a different path to the same thing:  spiritual and sexual fulfillment. If you are hiking in the woods and come to a fork, and both paths lead to the same place eventually, is one really “better” than the other?  Is one really “right” and the other “wrong”?  No, not better or worse.  Not right or wrong.  Simply different.

And only each individual herself can determine what the desire of the soul is.  In other words, when it comes to monogamy versus non-monogamy, the only “right” and “wrong” that can truly be applied is what’s “right” (what works, what your soul longs for) or “wrong” (what feels wrong or forced) for each individual.

Rather than  needing to claim our way as “right” and their way as “wrong”, what if we simply acknowledged that there is more than one way for relationship to work?  What if we let go of the high and mighty values that keep us stuck in judgment of each other?

Here’s how it works:  in the old paradigm, the choices are either/or.  Either you subscribe to my way, or you are wrong or bad.  In the new paradigm, it goes like this:  both/and.  Here, monogamy is a legitimate, beautiful path and so is non-monogamy. In the old paradigm, there is restriction and judgment and fear.  Fear is the real basis for all judgment.  In the new paradigm, there is freedom and acceptance, and love.  Which do you choose?

What if we all stopped pushing against what we don’t want, and moving toward what we do want?  What if we accepted  that there is really no such thing as “right” and “wrong”?  There is only what’s “right” for me, if you must, and what’s “right” for you.

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