Sweet Spots Happen- Part II

So then last weekend was when I landed on the name for where my poly partner and I are at:  the “sweet spot”.

Let me back up a bit.  I left off last week telling about our recent round two of concealing, pain, mistrust, revealing, recommitting to transparency, and trust.  Then there was more harmony.  And then we went away for a long weekend of learning and adventure.  By Sunday night, I was lying in our tent, freezing my cute little ass off, and simultaneously blissed out.  (Anyone who knows me knows that I hate being cold, so if I was really happy and really freezing at the same time, that means I was really f*cking happy!)  And I told my partner that I felt like we had really hit a “sweet spot” in our relationship.  He agreed.

Is there a recipe for a sweet spot?  I don’t know, and here’s how we got there:  fear and concealing, then pain, then truth telling and transparency, rinse and repeat, add some pixie dust, and ta da- sweet spot!

Okay, I guess that was a little obtuse.  😉  You already know our story up until we arrive to camp out last Friday night.  Here’s what happened next:

At this event were the two of us plus about 300 other sexy people including “Jane”  (remember her?).  Some of those 300 other people were people that my partner has had sexual encounters with, people that he’s interested in now, and people that I definitely have a crush on, if nothing else.  Plus, we met some peeps that were totally new (and attractive) to both of us.

Clearly, there were plenty of opportunities for jealousy.  And there was very little of that.

And there was no mistrust.

And there were fun make out sessions with other people.  In front of each other.  (We were both turned on by this.)

And there was encouragement of each other to go for what we wanted with others.

And there was compersion.  Lots of compersion.

There was much joy over the total freedom that all of this created.  We were allowing ourselves to be free to be in our sexual essence and to express our sexual feelings toward each other and others openly, without fear of repercussions.  Whoo-hoo!  Now that’s what I call fun!

And then, as if that weren’t enough (and I’m sure not unrelated to the above), we had some sex the likes of which we have never had before.  (And “before” was f*cking amazing!)

And then, I was lying in our tent, in the frigid May evening, happy as can be, wondering, how did all of this happen?

It happened because we are being real.  We are showing up in the relationship.  We are speaking our truth.  We are expressing our feelings.  Yes, we are talking about stuff that needs to be talked about.  And at the same time, we are opening our hearts.  We are trusting each other more.  We are cycling.  We are trusting in the process.  We are trusting ourselves more.  We are playing.  We are experimenting.  We are taking risks.  All within the crucible of a polyamorous relationship, which for me, is the perfect learning ground for self-exploration, spiritual growth, and unprecedented bliss.

Don’t get me wrong, a sweet spot is not a destination.  I am not naive enough to think that we have “arrived”.  (Sorry folks, there is no such thing.)  Being in a sweet spot is simply part of the experience.  We get to be there right now because we did not deny the other, less-than-sweet spots in our relationship. 

And, since we’re here, we might as well enjoy ourselves!

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