Selfishness Has a Bad Name

Really, I’m serious.  We are all told that being selfish is a bad thing, right?  Well, I disagree.  I think that if we all started to put ourselves first, the world would be a better place.

You may be thinking:  But what about doing things for others? 

If we all were more selfish, or as I prefer to call it- self-loving, we would most likely also do more things for others.  Wanting to do for others is a natural outcome of embodying our own natural flow and well-being.  We want to share it.  And also, just be being in that state, we are doing for others.  Whether we know it or not, we project our vibration out into the world and others feel it.

Lately, you may have noticed that my blogging has been less frequent and rather random in its timing.  That is because I have been feeling like I needed to prioritize my self-care over most other things.  I started with, for the first time ever, not blogging while I was on vacation.  I actually took a real vacation and didn’t do any work during that period of time.  Then, when I got back home, I wasn’t feeling up to par.  I have been dealing with a lot, personally, and decided that if I only have one spare hour in a day and it’s a choice between getting my workout in and writing a blog, I’m gonna do the workout.  (Today, I’m doing both, and making it work.)  Or, if it’s a choice between scheduling something with a friend who really wants to see me, or having a sane day in which I don’t wince when I look at my calendar, I’m gonna choose “A”.

In the past I have made the other choice, the “unselfish” choice most often in my life.  I don’ think it’s really best for me or anyone else.  If I am writing a blog by forcing myself to do it, or spending time with a friend when I’d rather be taking a nap, it’s really not doing anyone any good.

Of course, there are exceptions to this.  For example, if you have a young child that’s sick and (s)he wakes up and cries while you are in middle of your morning meditation, I am not suggesting that you finish your meditation while the child cries.

Raising children is probably the biggest place where I hear people say things like:  “You have to put your child first”.  In some cases, like the example I just gave, I agree.  Most of the time, I don’t agree.  Having said yes to my child’s desires (not basic needs) before my own has left me resentful and unhappy way too many times.  And how much is she going to benefit from my doing something that she wants if, inevitably, she’s going to pay for it later when my anger “comes out sideways” at her?

Just a few things for you to ponder today.  Now I’m going for my walk, before it gets too late.  🙂