On Female Bisexuality

Just the other day I had yet another conversation with a friend who said: “I used to think I was a lesbian.” I can’t tell you how many women my age have told me that same thing. And I can relate, because there was a period of time during which I thought I was a lesbian, too. What appears to be true about me all the women I know who’ve had this experience is that they are in fact bisexual, not lesbians. But back in the days when women my age were discovering their sexuality, bisexuality was much less talked about or acknowledged. It was either you were straight or you were gay.

Statistically speaking, I have heard estimates that up to 85% of women have sexual feelings toward other women. Does that surprise you? It doesn’t surprise me. (And, by the way, when I use the word “bisexual”, I am referring to sexual orientation, not necessarily something that the individual has acted upon.)

Since we’re on the subject, and I would hope this would be understood by all, but I know it’s not, there’s this: neither bisexuality nor homosexuality are wrong, bad, or sinful. I know that many religious organizations preach otherwise. Here’s some “straight” (haha) logic for you. If God(dess) judged anything but heterosexuality to be wrong, then why would anyone be born gay or bi-sexual to begin with?

And don’t even get me started about people who think sexual orientation can be changed! There is too much scientific evidence that sexual orientation is based on genetics to argue that one!

I have always believed that love is about the soul experience. We are attracted to each others’ souls. It doesn’t necessarily matter what body that soul happens to be in in this lifetime. Perhaps a lover of the same sex was a lover in a past lifetime. I think that is often the case with gay and bisexual relationships. Or, as a close friend of mine who identifies as a lesbian often says: “it’s not about the body parts.”

I am happy that bisexuality is being more acknowledged and accepted these days. Among high school kids in my town, it is commonplace for students to tell others that they are (gay or) bisexual and no one seems to think it is a big deal. It is discussed much like hair color is- just a neutral fact about a person. I think the way things are now makes it easier for both adolescents and adults to come out themselves.

I’m excited about the future for our new, more accepting world. As sexual orientation becomes less and less of a hang-up, I wonder what miracles of love we will be creating on the planet?