My Dating Experiment
So yesterday I broke one of my own “rules”; not that I really have rules. 😉
I have been telling my clients for years that they do not need to join dating sites in order to find a partner. All they have to do is get out of the house once in a while. If their soul and their future partner’s soul planned to meet, it will happen. Online dating not needed.
And then I was essentially alone, for like eight months. And I WAS getting out of the house. And then I got sick of not having a regular partner to do and share things with. And I don’t mean just friends. Or friends that I occasionally have sex with. (Not that they’re not both lovely.)
It’s not really about sex. I can have sex any day of the week- every day if I want. And that wouldn’t necessarily bring me what I desire. It’s about having a person (or two, or three) as a polyamorous partner. Maybe even (gasp!) a primary partner again.
You know where I’m going with this, right? I joined a dating site. One that I’d heard about and thought possibly might be a place I could meet someone compatible.
And now I’m wondering, is it that I don’t BELIEVE what I’ve been telling others for so long? And I’m not sure I know the answer to that. I think I still do.
AND, I also wonder sometimes where the line is. Not just with manifesting a partner. With manifesting anything. Where is the line between allowing and forcing? Between taking inspired action and attempting to will something into being? I know from experience, and I’ll be you do too, that the latter doesn’t work. I know another thing I’ve said to clients repeatedly is: “When have you ever met someone when you were TRYING to?” I never have.
Perhaps, as with most other things in life, the “answer” is not an either/or, it’s a both/and.
Perhaps, in this case, it’s not that I EITHER join a dating site and hunt down a partner, OR I keep being single for as long as it takes, allowing the event to happen organically.
Maybe, I will set my intention: to be in a conscious, loving relationship with a man who meets me in all the most important ways, AND be open to the possibility of that happening in a number of ways. Perhaps when I’m out at a tantra event, or a party that I’d be going to anyway. Or at the grocery store. Or in some way I can’t even imagine right now. OR on a dating site.
I also know that when I get too focused on something, when it’s all I am thinking about, and I am too attached to the outcome-I am efforting too much- it never works. I also know that when I set an intention and then hold it loosely, allowing for what wants to happen while at the same time taking inspired action, I usually get what I want.
And it felt like inspired action yesterday. I didn’t have to force myself to do it. I didn’t decide to do it ahead of time, talk it over with friends, or plan when I was going to do it. I had an impulse to post about the possibility of doing it in one of my poly Facebook groups, and then I immediately went to the site and made a profile.
Haven’t been on there much yet. So far there seem to be a lot of monogamous, Catholic guys hitting me up. Maybe it’s just that there are so many out there! I’m sure you won’t be surprised…AND I get a big NO to that!
And, I’ll keep you posted. Should be interesting. When is my life ever NOT?