How to Give a Good Hand Job

Hand jobs are a bit of a controversial topic, in a sense.  They are something that I think are often overlooked as a fun choice in a relationship, and I think there are some very good reasons to include them in your repertoire of partner intimacy.  I know, some men think they are not worth it because “they can do it themselves”.  Well, I can massage my own feet, too, but I really like it better when someone else does it! And as for the ladies, they often feel inept at giving hand jobs because they don’t have a lot of experience with it.  There are times, however, when you may find a hand job to be just the thing you want to do;  for instance, when you are too sore from all the pussy-pounding sex you just had yesterday, or you have your period, or whatnot.

Below is some advice (in bold) taken from the book The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., followed by me adding my own thoughts in.  (By the way, guys, if you really want your partner to know this stuff, you could show her this blog OR, sneakily, buy her the book and hope that she reads Chapter 8. But I recommend the direct approach.)

You will need a lubricant that is specifically designed by the manufacturer for use in sexual contact.  If not, you could cause discomfort or worse.  (What does worse mean, I wonder?!  That’s kind of alarming- use a lubricant!  :))

1.  Preferably, start with the lubricant before your partner is fully erect, if possible.  Put a dollop of the lubricant the size of a fifty cent piece in the palm of your hand and spread it luxuriously on his penis with your other hand.  Use finesse.  I recommend also being creative and having fun.  The more fun you’re having, the more fun he’ll be having.

2.  When you give your man a hand job, think about touching him in a way that will make YOUR HANDS feel good.  This will cause you to set aside all your anxiety regarding: am I doing it right? etc.  I know this may sound odd, but try it. I did it for my partner and got good reviews.

3.  Try running one or two fingers up and down the length of his penis.  Using the middle three fingers on both hands, gently press at the base of the penis, moving your hands around the circle like the face of a clock.  This is a bit mind-boggling at first, but hang in there.  It’s supposed to be fun, not stressful!

4.  As his penis continues to harden, try alternating strokes using either hand.  Go really slowly.  Don’t skimp on the lubricant.  Most guys tend to get hand jobs from themselves, and do them quickly to get the job done, no pun intended.  Going slowly will be a sexy and refreshing change for him.

5.  Experiment with different angles.  Most women tend to hold a penis at a 90 degree angle from his body, but going a bit more toward his belly will tend to keep it harder, and going a bit more toward his thighs may make it soften up.  (Not to mention that I hear the latter can cause pain.  Just say no to penis sprains!)

6.  Slowly begin a series of increasingly tight squeezes to the shaft of the penis, backing off between squeezes.  Mix these up with slow but firm strokes, caresses and finger rubs until he has an erection that looks like it’s going to explode.  Then, stand back, because it very well might!  I recommend clean up with one or more baby wipes, or a wet face cloth.  This can be part of your loving gesture toward him, too, rather than “his problem”.

By the way, a couple of things I’ve been meaning to mention:  just because I am usually referring to heterosexual couples in these kind of blogs, it does not mean I am not cognizant of the fact that gay couples may be utilizing this information too, or that in any way I am not okay with whatever sexual choices two consenting adults make!  And, I realize many of the things I say are quite blunt and may even (as one of my friends recently revealed) cause you to blush.  I do this for two reasons:  first, I am a blunt person, and second, I think it is good for us all to get used to this kind of talk.  It is the antidote for embarrassment, I believe.