On Intensity
From the time I was in college, I remember people using the word “intense” to describe me. In fact, the first time (that I know of) was when my college professor told my internship supervisor something along these lines: “The problem with Maria is that she’s so intense.” And then the supervisor told me what he said. It reminded me of that Sound of Music scene when the nuns sing that song “How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” Sheesh. How insulting!
I’ve since learned to take it a little more lightly when people tell me I’m intense. In fact, my boyfriend more or less said I was intense on our first date when I was grilling him about his spiritual beliefs, to see if they matched mine. In a very polite way, he pretty much said: “Back off, sister!” And I have since admitted that in fact I know I am intense sometimes.
What I hadn’t learned about being intense, however, was that intensity is actually a form of resistance.
What is resistance, you might be wondering? My understanding of the word resistance, in a spiritual sense, is anything that takes us away from allowing the natural flow of well-being that is constantly coming toward us. This would include all negative feelings- anger, fear, and sadness- which are caused by negative thoughts.
Let’s take the example above for me to explain further. I had read my boyfriend’s profile in Facebook, and quickly saw that he made several remarks which led me believe that he may be an atheist. My immediate thought was that perhaps it meant this man, to whom I was already powerfully drawn, was not right for me after all. How could I, who am so very spiritual, be in a relationship with an atheist? I couldn’t imagine it, really. My negative thought- basically, that this may not work out at all, led to my feeling (fear), which then prompted me to start asking the probing questions on our first date.
Asking probing questions on the first date = intense.
My intensity, and therefore my resistance, seems to come mainly when I am scared.
Does any of this resonate with you? Do people tell you you’re intense, too? Perhaps you, too, are in resistance. Perhaps you are dis-allowing the natural flow of well-being that is constantly available to all of us.
How else might I have handled the above situation, once I had read my now-boyfriend’s Facebook profile? I could have chosen to get curious about it rather than fearful, or to trust that it would develop into a relationship if it were meant to be one, if our souls had chosen for it to be one. This would have enabled me to relax and be in the moment more, thus enjoying my time with him even more than I did on that first date- which was a lot! 🙂
In fact, the only reason any of the things we desire in life do not come to us is that we are in resistance. The Universe really does grant all our wishes. Only thing is, we have to get out of our own way enough to allow what we desire to materialize on this physical plane.