Afraid to “Like” Me?

Through a number of recent conversations with friends, I have come to realize that there are likely a lot fewer people out there who “like” me (on Facebook, social media) than those who like me.  And these are real, actual friends I am talking about, not social media “friends”.  If even my friends are thinking of the consequences to their careers and families, for example, of publicly acknowledging their viewpoints, I can only imagine what it is like for those that do not even know me.

I get it.  I’m sure I’ve done the same thing:  not “liked” something on Facebook, for example, for fear of what others will think.  This fear comes in many different flavors: What will my significant other think? What will my boss think?  What will my neighbors think?  Will I alienate people? What will they say about me?  And this, coming from someone who gives zero craps about what others think compared to most people.  (I mean, after all, if I really cared all that much, I wouldn’t be writing things that people are afraid to “like”, now would I?)

I’m not knocking anyone for this.  I do not take offense when my friends tell me in confidence how much they like my blog, and why they don’t “like” it.  I do not stand in judgment of it, either.  We all must make the choices that we believe are best for us.

AND, here’s what I would say about it:  it’s not really all about me.  Well, it IS all about me, and it’s not.  😉

It’s all about becoming aware.

It’s all about making choices, in general, related to going public with our beliefs.

The more we feed into the societal judgments about things like sex, non-monogamy, homosexuality, bisexuality, and BDSM- in this case- the more we perpetuate them.  The more we hide in fear, the more we keep the old ways of shame, public humiliation, chastisement, and even criminalization of certain behaviors going.

What if, little by little, we all became a little braver about putting ourselves out there?  What if we allowed ourselves to know who we are, first of all, and then allowed others to know who we are and what we stand for?  What if it wasn’t so “weird” to like kinky sex?  What if more people understood what it really is, and not just the stereotypes?  What if transgendered people were not so misunderstood?  What if more and more people started to talk more openly about sex in general?  What if, rather than being thought of as bad and dirty, sex were thought of as sacred and beautiful…ALL kinds of sex?  What if rather than calling someone a “dick” or a “cunt” to insult them, people started thinking of lingams and yonis as positive things?

And, I know,  I know, we are already doing all of these things.  We are moving toward them.  We are making progress.

Today, I am simply shining the light on this one aspect of our evolution as human beings.  I look forward to the day when we have made it over this hump, so that the fears we have today of judgment and condemnation for our beliefs and behaviors become whispers rather than the screaming voices which they sometimes are.

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