69 Ways to Love Yourself

I know the name of my business is S.E.X.  And, I know I just put “69” in the title of my blog.  And, what my work is really about is helping people fall more deeply in love with themselves.  Only then can we be in truly loving relationships and have truly amazing S.E.X.

The first thing that clients ask me when I suggest we do some work on loving themselves more is:  “How do I do that?”  So, today, I am going to give you 69 ways to do that:

1.  Take a break from your busy day.

2.  Breathe deeply.

3.  Meditate daily.

4.  Spend time in nature.

5.  Make a list of all the things  you love about yourself.  Can’t think of any?  Ask someone else what they love about you.  It’s a start.

6.  Be kind to yourself.

7.  Get plenty of sleep and do allow yourself to take naps when you can.

8.  Drink lots of water.  (Take your body weight in pounds.  Divide it in half.  Drink that many ounces of water per day.)  Don’t like water?  Put lemon or lime in it.

9.  Make something healthy and delicious for yourself to eat.  This morning, I had sauteed onions, spinach, and tomatoes with scrambled eggs.  Cooked in coconut oil.  All organic.  It was like the best thing I ever had!

10.  Spend time with others outside of work. Even if you’re an introvert.  Human connection is good for all of us.

11.  Do what you want.  Even if it’s not what others want you to do.

12.  Smile for a minute (releases endorphins).

13.  Exercise.  Do it.

14.  Send yourself flowers.  Get them delivered.  Be surprised. 😉

15.  Limit your time on social media.  There’s a study that says people feel worse after being on Facebook.  Duh.  I think we already knew that before the study, didn’t we?

16.  Watch programs and movies that make you feel better, not worse.

17.  Feel the sun on your face, even in cold weather.  Breathe.  Repeat.

18.  Do away with social obligations.  They do not bring joy.

19.  Masturbate.

20.  Take a luxuriously long bath.  With lavender oil in the water.

21.  Rub lotion all over your body.  Notice how good it feels.  And smells.

22.  Get a massage.  Can’t afford one right now?  Get one from a friend or lover.

23.  Be organized and on top of things.  You will feel better.

24.  Get a pedicure.   Guy?  Get a pedicure.  You will love it!

25.  Be present for your life.  Be in the moment.

26.  Take a day off and do whatever you want.  Don’t plan it.  Don’t feel guilty if your kids are in daycare.  They’re fine.

27.  Stretch.  It feels good.

28.  Sing.  Even if you sound terrible.  It makes you happy.

29.  Caress your whole naked body.

30.  Sleep naked.  In clean, cotton sheets.  Ahhhhh….

31.  Give someone a compliment; don’t hold it in.  That’s how I know we’re all connected.  When we do that, we feel good too!

32.  Go on a “complaint diet”.  Honestly, try it.  See how you feel.  No complaining.  Not even inside your head.

33.  Give up the quest to be perfect.  You are already enough.

34.  Make a list of positive statements to tell yourself.  And use them.

35.  Ask for a hug.

36.  Re-discover the art of kissing.  It’s one of the greatest joys on the planet.

37.  Have beautiful, connected S.E.X.

38.  Eat some dark chocolate.  It’s good for you, really!

39.  Look at yourself naked in a mirror and find things to appreciate about your body.

40.  Go out to eat by yourself.  Get whatever you want.

41.  Give yourself a foot massage.

42. Get yourself some therapy, coaching, or Gentle Reprocessing to exorcise those little voices in your head telling you you’re not enough.

43.  Surround yourself with positive people, and people who treat you well.

44.  Just say no to drama.

45.  Ask for what you need.

46.  Ask for what you want.

47.  Spend time alone.  Get to know yourself.  It’s hard to love someone you don’t know.

48.  Feel your feelings.  Trust me.  You will be happier in the long run.  And healthier.  I know it’s scary.  Do it anyway.  That’s called courage.  You can do it.

49.  Take a vacation.  Even if it’s a “staycation”.  Use that vacation time.  Self-employed?  Make some vacation time.

50.  Be impeccable with your word.  If you make an agreement, keep it or change it.  Tell the truth.

51.  Spend time with animals.  They are full of unconditional love.

52.  Keep the toxins coming into your body to a minimum.  We’re all getting them everyday, by breathing and drinking water.  Use organic products and food when you can.  Keep alcohol to a minimum.  Don’t even go there with drugs and cigarettes.

53.  Be fit and at a healthy body weight.

54.  Cut yourself some slack.  Close your eyes.  Imagine there’s a sea of love and compassion flowing toward you.  Allow it to reach you.  Receive the delicious sensations.

55.  Live within your means.  Debt is a socially acceptable way to punish yourself.

56.  Be generous with your self and your time.  Volunteer.  Yes, this is for you.

57.  Replace the word “selfish” in your vocabulary with “self-loving”.

58.  Be gentle with yourself.

59.  Imagine yourself as a newborn baby and remember how precious you are.  You haven’t changed on the inside.  You are perfect.  Always were.

60.  Go on a self-criticism diet.  Every time you notice yourself doing it-stop, forgive yourself, and move on.  Self-criticism has become a habit.  It is learned behavior.  Self-love can become one too.

61.  Be patient with yourself.  How long did it take you to get off track?  It takes time to grow in self-love, too.

62.  Forgive yourself for whatever things you are still carrying around guilt for.  Be honest with yourself.  The book “Radical Self-Forgiveness” by Colin Tipping is a good tool.

63.  Forgive everyone you’re still holding a grudge toward.  It is hurting you to be unforgiving, not the other person.  And yes, Colin Tipping has a book for that too- “Radical Forgiveness”.  Good stuff.

64.  Let go of the self-judgment.  There is nothing wrong with you.  I promise.  (When you do, you’ll notice you judge others less too!)

65.  Tell the people in your life how much you love them.  Often.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable.  That’s when true intimacy happens.  And no, I’m not talking about S.E.X., although that could be a bonus!  🙂

66.  Celebrate your birth.  Treat your birthday like a national holiday.

67.  Learn to receive a compliment.  Practice saying “thank you” (fake it ’til you make it, if you have to), rather than deflecting.

68.  Have an adventure.

69.  Make a list of more ways to love yourself- you know you best!  xo