What’s so Bad about a Love Affair?
I know there is a lot of judgment out there about people who have affairs. I've even judged myself and others for having them.
And, I'd like us to rethink the whole thing. I'm not saying that people should have more affairs, or even that they are not "wrong" in the sense that the people involved are out of integrity.
I'm saying let's take a step back and look more closely at just what a love affair is. Why are people so drawn to them? What happens to the two people involved in an affair?...
I Am a Gem…And so Are You.
This phrase, and the knowledge that I was going to write this blog, came to me a couple of nights ago. It was just after a session with a client. I was tuned in during the session in a way that I have rarely been before in this lifetime. Sometimes the Universe delivers the goods just to give me a sign when I need it most. ...
Be Generous With Your Love- Part II
The second part of "being generous with your love" is to share that love with others. (The first part being giving love to yourself, which I wrote about in my previous blog.)
The more you love yourself, the easier it is to love others and the more you will notice things to love about them.
You will not be jealous of others' good points when you know you have many of your own. You will realize that each person simply has different lovable things that make up who they are. There is no scarcity of loveable traits to go around....
Polyamory as a Spiritual Path
Let me first say this: in terms of one's sexual choices- monogamy, celibacy, polyamory- it can all be a spiritual path. None is"better" than the others. The path I am on simply happens to be polyamory.
Here are some of the ways in which I see that polyamory is a spiritual path:...
Full-Out Transparency…Part IV
Again, if you haven't read parts I, II, and III of my blog on transparency in relationships, I suggest you go back and do that now...
Picking up where I left off, I went through the next forty-eight hours with much crying, journal writing, and "villain-izing" my primary (aka primary poly partner; boyfriend). Finally, at the end of a hot yoga class during which I had dripped first tears and then sweat onto my mat, I started having this thought: It is so beautiful that my partner and I have signed up to teach each other about transparency and boundary-setting in this lifetime Then, I knew I was out of drama and ready to talk to him face to face about what was up for me. I had shifted from blame to responsibility for co-creating this perfect situation with my partner....
Full-Out Transparency…Part II
Back to my series on transparency via poly dating...when I left off, I had just "survived" the trials of my boyfriend going on his first date.
He was about to embark on a trip to Japan for his work, which would keep him away for almost five weeks. We had discussed beforehand the fact that he has always been attracted to Asian women, and he had a huge fantasy about having sex with a Japanese woman while there. So we agreed that if he had the opportunity to make his dream come true, he would go for it. I felt totally fine about that. In fact, I was really hoping it would work out for him. This may seem kind of odd, since I had just had so much anxiety about one little date in the U.S. But, really, I want him to be happy and have what he wants, and it felt so much safer with his potential lover living on another continent. ;)...
Full-Out Transparency and Nothing Less
Many of you already know that I am in a new, polyamorous relationship with an amazing man! And, even for those of you who are not poly and have no intention of ever being poly, my blogs about my relationship(s) are applicable to monogamous relationships as well. The same issues- of jealousy, transparency, time challenges, communication, and S.E.X. come up.
This is going to be the start of a "mini-series" of blogs about our recent experiences with starting to date others for the first time since getting into relationship about five months ago....
Musings on the Green-Eyed Monster
The topic of jealousy has been coming up lately, as my partner and I have both been starting to date others in addition to each other. We have each felt a twinge of jealousy at times, nothing major. And I would say that both of us tend to be generally less prone to jealousy than the average person. (That's a good thing, since otherwise being in a poly relationship would be much more challenging!)
The whole thing, however, got me thinking about the nature of jealousy and how the pain involved can be minimized....
Compersion- Yes!
Tomorrow is my partner's birthday. Well, technically for him, it's his birthday now, because he's in Japan. And even though I can't spend his birthday with him, I am incredibly happy! I am having an amazing, embodied experience of compersion. You may or may not know that compersion is a word used in poly circles to describe the joy that comes from seeing your partner enjoy his freedom, basically. And that's what I'm high on today....