What’s it Gonna be (Boy), Yes or No?
Hope you liked my Meatloaf reference (above). Surprise! This blog is not really about music. (You probably knew that, huh?) ;)
It is about checking in with yourself about your "yes's" and "no's". This is a really good way to be honoring of yourself, and to make sound decisions, all at the same time. ...
69 Ways to Love Yourself
I know the name of my business is S.E.X. And, I know I just put "69" in the title of my blog. And, what my work is really about is helping people fall more deeply in love with themselves. Only then can we be in truly loving relationships and have truly amazing S.E.X.
The first thing that clients ask me when I suggest we do some work on loving themselves more is: "How do I do that?" So, today, I am going to give you 69 ways to do that:...
Introducing The Re-Frame!
You may or may not have heard of this concept before. If you have, it's okay. I have found that much of life is a process of forgetting and remembering things. Sometimes it is helpful to have another person remind you of something you may need to get back on your radar. (In fact, I've had the thought that maybe that's what we're all here together for, to remind each other of the unconditional love and abundance that the Universe consists of.) Even if you are familiar with re-framing, today, I hope I can be that person for you.
And, if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, here you go:...
Mirror, Mirror
You may have heard the saying: "other people are your mirror"? What that means to me is, other people have a gift for us, even when we may not at first perceive it as such. Other people in our lives are mirroring to us something about ourselves. It can be a hard fact to accept. It seems much easier to simply blame, criticize, and judge. Or that has certainly been the popular way, anyhow. It is not simply that our partner, for example, has an issue, and if it causes problems in the relationship, it is their fault. It is never anyone's fault. Both people co-create every situation, in every relationship, not just romantic ones- for a reason. For both of their highest good, growth, and learning, should we choose to take the opportunity.
For example, there is someone in my life (not naming names here) who has been on a destructive path with alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes, destroying his emotional and physical health. ...
Between Dramatization and Minimization
That's exactly where I want to be with this grieving process.
I started out in the drama zone. I didn't think I was being dramatic, and I was. What I learned is this: because I have literal conscious memories of some of my most horrific past lives, when I was doing my grieving about this relationship, I was connecting in to the energy of those lifetimes. The result? I was depressed, in despair, and completely unmotivated. (If you've ever had a period in your life when you had to force yourself to do absolutely everything, including getting out of bed, you know- it is not fun!) Mind you, this was an unconscious process. I wasn't saying to myself: "Gee, I think I'll connect with all of my past lives in which betrayal and abandonment issues came up for me, so I can feel really miserable." However, whether conscious or unconscious, the result was still the same.
With the help of my non-physical friends, I came up with a new way to do my grieving, which I believe can work for any type of grief you or I may encounter in life. And here are the steps:...
Law of Attraction in Action
I forgot. The good news is, it's been so long (apparently, since I felt really sh*tty) that I actually forgot what happens. The bad new is, it's bad, lol.
Then I realized: it's a good teaching point. This is the Law of Attraction in Action (see how that rhymes)? The Law of Attraction is that thing that makes life so that when we are on a roll, more and more good things keep happening. And when we are in the dumps, more and more bad things keep happening. Did you ever notice that life is like that? Like attracts like. When my vibration is at a high level, I attract things energetically that match it. The reverse is also true, unfortunately. These pesky Universal laws always have a caveat ;)....
In The End….
...we didn't make it. Yes, my first official polyamorous relationship is over. :( I can hardly believe it myself. I'm not gonna lie. It sucks. I don't even like talking about it. But I feel I owe it to all of you, those who have been loyally (and not-so-loyally-even) reading my blogs about it since it began almost two years ago now.
It has been just over two years since we first met, and just under two years since we started dating.
The last several months were kind of like when a person is dying, and then the person somehow rallies, and you start to believe they're going to live......
It Takes Two, Baby
Whenever there is a conflict in a relationship, you can be sure it is not one person's "fault". There is simply no such thing.
You see, we all have unresolved issues from the past, whether they be from past lives or this current lifetime. I don't think all the work ever gets done. (Well, there's one exception, you are temporarily done when you die. Thus the good old expression: "When you're done, you're dead.") I'm sorry if I'm the bearer of bad news. We are here on earth to learn and grow. If everything were perfect all the time, how could we keep learning and growing?
Working out these past "traumas", if you will, is the purpose of relationship. Only our beloveds can push our buttons in just the right way so that what comes up are the most painful core wounds we have. Only our beloveds have the power to give us so much joy at times, and to be be part of so much agony at others. Sound familiar? :)...